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JNFIL doesn't like being blocked on social media

2020.10.23 04:26 Disaster_Core JNFIL doesn't like being blocked on social media

I have to include a little over 30 years of history to get you up to date to make sense of everything. It’s a long one.
I (48F) met my husband (48M) at 13 in high school. We were friends all through high school. The poor guy even listened to my bullshit about the boys I was dating all through high school. We attended the sophomore dance “as friends”. When we finally started dating in the 12th grade, everyone we knew gave us the whole ‘Oh, we knew before you knew’.
When he was 16, his mother passed away. We weren’t dating but when he didn’t show up to school and I found out, I called my mom to come take me out of school to go see him and his family. (We laugh about this to this day because his grandmother isn’t an American and was horrified that a non-family member would show up and she slammed the door in my face. My mom had to go talk to her as an adult to let me inside)
An example of something JNFIL told us ( in a humorous family story manner) that I think he should have kept to himself is that hubby's mom had said, "Don't let him marry 'that girl'" before she died. Awesome. I 'm glad to know she died thinking I was garbage.
Even more interestingly, it just happened to work out that I was the bad kid with a blue mohawk who smoked out behind the school (if I was there) and he was the valedictorian when we graduated and honestly, I barely graduated. The differences in what kind of people we were was not only in our styles during high school. Of course, he came from a very nice Catholic family and I was from a non-religious broken home.
He went off to college and we continued to date. He and I decided I would work and we’d try to get married after he graduated college. That took 6 years.
In the year that we decided we’d get married (1995), our dating anniversary would fall on a Saturday. It was in the fall and in GA and it would be a nice time to have a wedding. My mom was making my dress. My sister was a cake maker, and was making my cake. My other sister was going to handle the catering for the reception and my Aunt was letting us use her house to have the service on her lawn. Her church was going to donate the chairs and tables and her best friend was willing to do my flowers for cost. My cousin played piano and wanted to do the music. All in all, small and cheap but a nice effort and should have been nice…
Also important to know, I am the youngest of my family and he is the oldest. He wasn’t into the church as much anymore in college but wasn’t ready to have that convo with his father about it. We were young adults and still in that spot where we were on our own and doing things our way but was still calling home every 10 minutes to figure out how our appliances worked, etc. We weren’t super dependent on our parents but we were still very much respectful of our parents and their thoughts and desires and valued their instruction.
When we started getting serious about getting married, JNFIL insisted that we were going to have to go speak to the priest. I wasn’t aware of the things that were about to get thrown my way.
After meeting with the priest, we found out that we were going to be required to take a thing called Pre-Cana (Catholic pre-marriage counseling). I wasn’t thrilled about this but I was willing to compromise. But every inch I gave, they took so much more.
The amount of things they wanted us to do was nuts. We couldn’t get married anywhere but in the church. IT HAS TO BE INSIDE THE BUILDING. No balloons in the church; only flowers and those have to be left and donated to the church. And, don’t forget, no one can play the piano in the church except our organist, so you’ll need to schedule & pay him. Also, the priest needed to be “tipped” for the service. Also, please fill out and sign this form saying that you will raise all your children Catholic. Finally, the priest has a fishing trip on the day you want, so we are going to make it several weeks earlier.
Needless to say, I was not happy about any of this. I did the Pre-cana, had a HUGE fight with the priest about the fact that I wasn’t having kids ever, and that I didn’t want to change my wedding date. He would not give on the date. After the visit that we had with the priest about the wedding date and the fact that I didn’t want to ever have kids, we went to JNFIL’s house after to chat with him.
We sat at his kitchen table and he proceeded to tell us that it was just the way it was and that was how it was going to go. There were certain things that had to be done a certain way for catholics and my husband was expected to do them.
We left and in the drive to our apartment an hour away, we decided to elope. That was on a Saturday evening.
On Sunday, I called my childhood Methodist preacher and asked him if he’d marry us the next Saturday. He said yes and gave us his home address. We went on Monday and had our blood drawn, got the results on Wednesday, got our license on Friday and we showed up at the preacher’s house on Saturday with my best friend, her dad and my mom as our witnesses. We eloped a full 4 months early.
When my childhood preacher’s wife opened the door that Saturday morning in her house gown surprised to see us, I had to laugh. They were retired and older and a little forgetful and they forgot we were coming. :D She made coffee and the preacher got dressed and married us in front of his fireplace.
When we eloped, we had already been through Pre-cana and we were scheduled for the wedding day at the church. We canceled everything except the ceremony so we didn’t have to buy flowers, pay an organist, etc. All we did was ‘tip’ the priest. No one was happy with that, but it’s what we did. The ceremony held in the church was purely done to make JNFIL happy.
I just let it go and we started on our life path together. About 5 years later, when my husband’s brother got married, JNFIL paid for the HOTEL they got married at, my husband’s grandmother paid for their honeymoon, and to top it all off, the date they wanted wasn’t available, but my dating anniversary was and they took it, not knowing it would gut me. I couldn’t go to the wedding. I just couldn’t. JNFIL was just always so obvious about his dislike of me and I just didn’t have it in me to go be happy for someone else in front of him.
Over the years, I saw JNFIL get married, divorce (he got it annulled…he’s that Catholic) and remarried. I had to attend both of his catholic/not catholic weddings in venues not in churches and be reminded that I didn’t get to even have my puny little redneck wedding but he gets to have three very elaborate weddings.
I started to realize over the years that I was being punished for not wanting and having children. He would hit me with some nasty comments from time to time over the years in private and I had a hard time making my husband believe his father was being a dick to me.
JNFIL made a mistake at a party about 7 years into our marriage that he did in front of my husband and that was when my husband started to understand how much I was being harrassed. I still believe JNFIL never talked to my husband directly because he didn't want to hear his own son say, "I don't want children, either."
We were at a party and a family friend was talking about her daughter's twins pregnancy (this daughter was my husband's childhood/church friend) and JNFIL looked at me and said in front of everyone (several witnesses to this including my hubby) "Those babies should be your hubby's." When I looked shocked and his date at the time said, "HEY!", he backpedalled and said, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant they should be having the babies!" pointing at us.
I finally carried enough anger about this and other underhanded things he’s said and done to and around me over the years, that my husband and I decided to talk to JNFIL. JNFIL basically claims he doesn’t remember anything if it involved just me and he just claimed not remembering the incidents the same ways if it involved my husband as well. We could not get him to admit that he was in any way shape or form responsible for any of the things we brought up.
Again, I just decided to let it go. What could I do? It's my husband's father. I can't make my hubby stop talking to him.
Then, two Christmas’ ago, I was at JNFIL’s house and we got into a discussion about me being angry at him and how he treats me. It ended again with him telling me I’m being too sensitive. He said about my wedding not ever happening and him treating everyone else better, “I’m over it. Why aren’t you?” I also got the, “I’m sorry you’re upset.”
The worst for me is he likes to say, “You guys were/are adults and can do whatever you wanted. I didn’t stop you from having a wedding.” True. We were adults but he just ignored the fact that we would want to consider family, family wants and needs as well and the fact that he berated us and huffed and puffed that we didn’t want to originally do Pre-Cana or get married in the Catholic Church in the first place.
I chatted with my husband again and we decided to list out all the incidents I’ve felt were good examples of him being a dick to me specifically. I sent the list to all the family that would be affected (small group) by me telling off JNFIL and said I would not be attending family events anymore. If they are interested in seeing the hubby, that’s up to them to work out. I sent the note to JNFIL and ended it with “Go Fuck Yourself.”
I’ve never been happier. I don’t deal with him anymore. I don’t feel anxiety or pressure about pleasing him or keeping peace at holidays, etc. I even went to the trouble of also blocking JNMIL and JNFIL on all social media. It wasn’t hard since JNFIL had informed me years before that “I don’t follow you on Facebook. I don’t follow people who post.” (Yeah, read that. Say it out loud because it’s nuts). That was back when Facebook was new.
Now, years later, it never occurred to me that JNFIL would be on Twitter or IG or anything like that. In fact, I know that my husband sends his dad the pics I take of us because my hubby will ask me to send them to his phone so he can text them to his dad. His dad isn’t into social media. (We’re talking boomer in his 70s)
So, color me surprised when I see JNFIL’s name show up as following me on IG a couple of days ago. Normally, JNFIL is not into social media and thinks it’s a waste of time and effort, so he wouldn’t have an IG account even though JNMIL does. I check the account and it has no followers and is only following 3 people that I can’t see. It’s a private account with no pic and no posts I can see. His name is unusual enough, that I know from http://howmanyofme.com/, that there is only one in all the US with his name.
I just feel like I have a chance to say exactly what I want and should take this opportunity to say it. If it’s not him, so what but if it is…what should I post? It has to be pictures / memes for the IG format.
Also, thanks for letting me tell this fucking wild ass story. I feel insane writing it all out.
submitted by Disaster_Core to Justnofil [link] [comments]


2020.08.31 22:49 AthosN8 RDNK ETF (part 2)

“Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.” ― Larry the Cable Guy.
Hello fellow rednecks, side alongs, and degenerate gamblers. We’re happy to have each and every one of you here. This is my follow up to yesterday’s post about my new adventure into creating a portfolio based around a redneck theme, so rightly monikered by u/Shawnstium as RDNK the Redneck “ETF.” Also a special shout out to u/DullCombination5 who was an active poster in yesterday’s thread and got me thinking seriously about weighting these into a real portfolio.
These holdings will be a place to park your money, like your house, where it won’t get blown away. I stared with a few rules from yesterday and I’ve added a few since then:
  1. $1,000 max to start.
  2. Pick goods and services the discerning redneck consumer would use.
  3. Increase wealth. (aka no stupid picks just because).
  4. When all other measures fail, go with the one thing that has never failed, instinct. (i.e. Does this pass the final redneck test…me.
  5. Stick to 10 stocks ‘cause that’s how many fingers and toes most of us have.
  6. Rebalance once quarterly if needed, based on performance and portfolio needs.
The way I made my picks was based on two main factors. 1. Did you guys recommend it? 2. Does this fit the theme? 3. Will this make money?
I started with the 11 sectors and used the ratios from the S&P but had to adjust a couple things. First, I got rid of Info Tech and Financials. They already get enough of our money. We ain’t trustin’ the bank or anything silicone again. Fool me once… They’re also hard to fit in the theme.
That leaves us with 9 sectors. Out of those 9 sectors there were no Reddit picks from Energy and Utilities. I hate to leave out either of these because so many of us work in those industries. However, there’s at least 4 rebalances coming so perhaps someone can make the case for adding one or both back in.
Now we are down to 7 sectors and I added Miscellaneous because as there were just too many good picks from there that aren’t fitting exactly into a category. We ended up with 8 sectors and two “at large” picks. These can be rebalanced into Energy and/or Utilities at a later date or kept thematic.
Here is the new top 10 based on market cap, ratioed of importance to me, other Reddit rednecks and friends of rednecks:
  1. Consumer Staples – Wal-Mart (WMT) – 15.37% - I really don’t think I need to give a reason for this one.
  2. Consumer Discretionary – Home Depot (HD) – 14.71% - Originally, I picked Lowe’s but had a change of heart as two users were passionate about HD being the more rednecky choice.
  3. Miscellaneous – Polaris (PII)- 12.91% - I’m excited about this one. They beat earnings last quarter and look like Q32020 will be even better.
  4. CommSvcs – FaceBook (FB) – 12.71% - I mean FOX is the obvious choice, but we can’t say FB doesn’t influence our culture. I’m holding my nose on this one but it’s in there.
  5. Industrials – SnapOn (SNA) – 12.51% - I went with this over DEER and CAT. I really like all three of these. SNA just had more passion around it from this sub and the financials are strong.
  6. Real Estate – Sun Communities, inc. (SUI) – 7.11% - this one is tricky, but I think I made another interesting pick. Solid financials and a healthy market cap and earnings.
  7. Healthcare – CVS (CVS) – 6.71% - It really could have been WBA or RAD too. I just went with the one with the longest receipts.
  8. Materials – Valvoline (VVV) – 6.13% - I mean it really was the only entry in this category. I looked at SHW as well and ultimately chose VVV. It doesn’t fit exactly into Materials, but I’ve fudged enough at this point that we ain’t being too strict.
  9. At large 1 - Dollar General (DG) - 6.11% – Clearly rednecks are drivers of the economy (literally?). Consumer Staples and Consumer Discretionary could easily be 100% of this portfolio. I felt this would diversify a little from another home improvement pick while still adding weight to one of those two categories.
  10. At large 2 – WD-40 (WDFC) – 5.73% - no one mentioned this yesterday which made me sad. This is a solid company with a share of the market getting little notice. They’re quietly out here doing God’s work.
Reddit-necks, together we were able to identify 70 companies that kept with the RDNK theme and we are passionate about. It was impossible to have a portfolio that large and keep my sanity. If I had billions, I’d diversify further but with a $1,000 I think keeping it to 10 major holdings is good.
Let me know what you think.
mini thanks to swept for helping get this post up.
submitted by AthosN8 to smallstreetbets [link] [comments]


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2020.08.15 19:11 LaSpeakeasy So I played with an actual IRL nazi once.

This is a few years ago. I was living in Hong Kong at the time. FYI HK is an expensive city and gaming space is always an issue since most of us live in small apartments.
There was a guy named “John” whose family owns a church. He was Norwegian-Hongkongese. And he claimed his family were old money back in Norway, and moved here after WWII. He offered to let my friend the GM use his family church’s meeting room to play Warhammer 40k RP, as long as he gets to play with us. So the GM put together a party and we played Pathfinder.
“John” played a lawful stupid anime-waifu-noble-born high-elf paladin. She has braided blonde hair that goes all the way to her ankles and blue “Aryan eyes”. The rest of the party do improve together so we all made goofy characters like you’ll see on the Office.
Off the top of my head I can remember these characters: I played a cowardly Indiana Jones type rogue who was the “face” of the party with almost no combat skills; a dryad druid character who is basically Groot but sexy anime waifu; and another high-elf ranger who is an ugly inbred redneck with no teeth and spoke with an exaggerated Mississippi accent. And boy did we not get along with the paladin.
“John” power gamed. We were all competent players and handled the fights well enough. But she felt we were all beneath her in power level:
At first we kinda went along because: 1) we needed “John” to provide us with playspace and 2) we were genuinely amused at the her antics and saw “John” as a lol cow. But before long “John” got on all of our nerves. The GM tried to reason with “John” but his reasoning was that his character is a lawful good paladin and the elven constitution dictates that high-elves’ pride and benefits come above anyone else. He refused to change his behavior at all.
“John” then proceeded to whip out a manifesto he had written and claimed to be the elven constitution in that universe. I don’t remember exactly the content, but I remember we were all extremely creeped out by the numerous references to elves being “the superior race” and “ridding the world of evil influences of sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, communism, and other degeneracy”.
We didn’t end the campaign there. It was actually the GM’s GF, who wasn’t part of the party but tagged along every week and use the church’s kitchen to bake goods for us, who put her foot down and forced us to stop playing at “John”’s church. She said she attended a service that Sunday and was so appalled at what she heard she could no longer tolerate us associating with a fundamentalist church.
A few months later I was at the GM’s wedding and talked to the now-wife about “John”, and she told me that she found out the origin of “John”’s family. Turned out they weren’t Norwegian old money. “John”’s great grandfather made bank during the Nazi occupation there by running a Nazi-sanctioned church and disseminated Nazi propaganda. After Norway was liberated, Nazi-sympathizers were either persecuted or executed. And “John”’s grandfather fled to Hong Kong and started a new church here.
She later sent us newspaper clippings that she found that corroborated her story. We were all shocked but when we thought about “John”’s beliefs and behavior, and it all clicked. We thanked her profusely, and still talk about “John” and our brush with an IRL nazi to this date.
submitted by LaSpeakeasy to CritCrab [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 12:12 RockoCharmichael In the Appalachian Hollow...

You know the feeling you get when something just isn’t right? That feeling of some unseen eye crawling over your body, making a shiver creep up your spine and goosebumps prickle on your arms…that feeling of dread as the primal, lizard voice screams in the back of your deepest thoughts “Danger! Danger! Proceed no further…”? Sure you know it. Everyone has experienced it a time or two. We’re trained from a young age that the monster in the closet isn’t real, that nothing is under our bed and the shadows on the walls are our minds playing tricks on us. Unlike hunger, or our need for oxygen, the “something’s off” feeling is one our species purposely dampens. We’re taught to seek out the logical reason, to assume we’re paranoid and laugh it off. The truth is, the feeling IS a survival instinct, and sometimes, something just ISN’T right.
The lizard voice was blaring, clawing at my brain as my car’s headlights sliced through the darkness and fell upon the weathered wooden sign. Faint, white letters read “Welcome to Cedar Hollow”. The planks of wood making up the sign were an ashy gray, and someone had clearly taken potshots at the unkempt monument. Yes, as we neared the roadside sign, overgrown with weeds and its foreboding letters, my lizard voice was begging. Alas, I’d been trained so well that I chalked my bad feeling up to the late hour and the fact that our GPS had lost signal miles before, not to mention our phones were useless with their own “no signal” messages. Good old Appalachia.
“That’s weird…” The bookish young woman riding shotgun uttered as she trailed her index finger along the accordion map.
“What is?” I asked keeping my eyes on the road.
“Cedar Hollow isn’t on the map…” She spoke, moving her index finger to the bridge of her nose where she pushed up her stylish glasses.
“Well baby, that map is newish…” I reasoned. “West Virginia isn’t like Florida. Hills and Valleys galore, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some places just get forgotten out here…”
Forgotten. Poor choice of words, as they did nothing to assuage my discomfort, and I could tell that Jordan’s unease was just as palpable as she folded the map and crossed her slender arms over her university sweatshirt. Perhaps her own lizard voice was hissing. I tossed a glance her way as we passed the ancient sign, autumn leaves billowing around our tires, fluttering down in the darkness behind us as we traversed the winding road.
“How you doing?” I asked her. She turned her eyes from the dense woods outside of the passenger window toward me. She truly was stunning in an unconventional way.
With one hand she pushed the shaggy, shoulder-length mahogany hair behind her ear, and looked nervously at me with amber eyes. She took a deep, wavering breath before speaking.
“My parents aren’t racist-” She started but was cut off by my sigh.
“C’mon Jord, you said you’d tell them-” I got out before the petite girl interrupted.
“I know, I did, and I tried Ben…I just don’t know how to bring it up.” She said, sounding sincerely apologetic.
“What’s wrong with, ‘Hey mom and dad, the guy supporting me through this tragedy and driving me all the way to Delaware…who I’ve been dating for the last year…happens to be black.’” I said, slyly grinning as I gave her a side-eyed look, my dorkiness apparently shining through as she cracked a smile.
“I really am sorry, Ben.” She said softly through her grin.
“All good baby, if they don’t like me, its whatever, as long as you do.” My words oozed cheese. “Besides we may not even make the funeral, I have no clue where we’re at.” I added. My bad news seemed insignificant compared to hers, so I was confident I would stay out of the doghouse.
The endless forest that surrounded us all but blocked out any light from the sky, and the moonbeams that did manage to cut through the foliage made the trees look skeletal…sinister. Even the pines looked like they were watching with an unnatural amount of glowing eyes as we traveled the barren road. Again, that primal voice did its best to reach me, but I told it that those weren't eyes, of course they weren't. Logic said that those pinholes of glowing light were nothing more than the moon peeking through the branches. Nothing more.
“Hey!” Jordan said, tearing me from my thoughts. “What is that?” She squinted behind her glasses and pressed a finger against the windshield.
“Some kind of sign, maybe?” I offered, looking at the blue glow in the sky that peered back at us through the branches.
“Oh my god! Can we stop? I have GOT to pee, and we should call Mom and Dad…let them know where we are.” Jordan spoke, a certain chirp of relief in her voice.
I suppose signs of society had brought down her stress level. Not mine. It was 2AM and we were deep in a West Virginia hollow…what business, out in the middle of nowhere, was open?
“Maybe you can finally tell them you’re bringing a black man to their nephew’s funeral?” I asked in a scolding tone.
“Suck it.” She returned, rolling her lovely eyes.
No further words were exchanged between us as we closed the distance to the glowing light. As the trees became less dense, their naked branches parted…the pole sign became clearer. A faint, white glow emanated from the sign, welcoming us with blue, cartoon letters to the small gas station between the road and tree line. It was literally the only building we’d seen for miles, and its very existence felt off.
“Gasser Up…” I read the marquee’s words and followed it with a long, exasperated sigh as I pulled the car next to the lone pump beneath the canopy connected to the small mart.
Jordan groaned at the hillbilly name of the service station before asking, “Are they open, you think?” with a bit more hesitance in her words. Her lizard voice must have been whispering.
“Light’s on inside…” I said, throwing the car into park and gesturing with my head toward the illuminated frosted glass door that read“WELCOME”. “…And look.” I finished by pointing to the only other vehicle in the modest parking lot.
It sat cater-cornered in a space to the right of the building’s entrance. A deep red sports car with tinted windows and a decal on the back reading “It’s a Way of Life” next to a graphic of a palm with the ring finger tucked under. “The Shocker”.
“Great…maybe Chad in the douche-mobile can give us directions to the nearest rave…” Jordan huffed.
“You can stay here if you want.” I offered as I opened my door. Cool, night air tickled the flesh of my neck, and the sounds of nature filled my ears…insects chirping, owls hooting... Then came the smell. Sulfury…burning…the vague hint of roadkill.
“Yeah…no thanks.” She said. Still, she didn’t move to open her door until I’d exited and crossed the vehicle and stood nearby.
That “off” feeling was in full force as I stood there waiting for my girlfriend. I felt watched, but not only that. I felt vulnerable, like an ant beneath a magnifying glass under the hot summer sun…I felt exposed. The light breeze surrounding me caused it to feel as if something were softly brushing against the left side of my face, and sound of breaking twigs and crunching leaves unsettled me. I wasted no time grabbing Jordan’s hand and leading her past the pump, toward the glowing doorway.
I had to force myself to keep my cool, to tell myself that I was just being paranoid, as we crossed the small parking lot hand in hand. There was something about our footfalls, the sound and feel like we were walking through something sticky, and more than once I’d glanced down to verify that the asphalt was simply that. In moments, we reached the lit door, the inside of the store obscured by the frosted glass. I placed my free hand on the handle, but before I could open it, Jordan spoke.
“Ben…this feels bad.” She whispered, squeezing my hand and shifting her weight between her feet.
I tried reassuring her with a smile, to tell her with my eyes that everything was okay, but the truth is that we were both feeling that discomfort, but moreover, I didn’t want to walk back to the car and drive further into the unknown without some semblance of a plan. Who knows how far we’d have to drive before another opportunity presented itself. It was my job as boyfriend to protect Jordan, and at the time I felt the best way to do that was to project a false bravado, to convey to her that I’d keep her safe.
I tugged on the door’s handle, and was actually a bit surprised when it opened with no resistance, a little jingle accompanying the motion. I stepped inside with Jordan following closely. The place looked…normal. Well, normal for Appalachian back woods. Drab, mustard-colored wallpaper lined the shop, and a couple of mounted buck heads flanked a stuffed bobcat above a door directly in front of us. The male and female stick figures adorning said door marked it as a unisex restroom. Jordan let out a relieved sigh and released my hand before pushing past me and making a beeline for the door. I couldn’t help snickering ad rolling my eyes as I watched the petite girl scurry, doing that dance where you’re on the verge of bursting. She disappeared into the room a second later, and I took a moment to observe the convenience store.
To my right I saw a small refrigerated cooler housing a variety of beverages, and between where I stood and the restroom was a couple of rows of products. Chips, candy, knickknacks…they made the small building feel cramped. Then there was the checkout counter to my immediate left, and the small cigarette display behind it. No one was manning it, and I took note of what appeared to be a tiny office behind the desk.
I took a few steps closer to the counter, and saw that sitting upon its surface was a silver bell. The kind you’d see at a hotel…god, it’s always awkward when you have to hit one of those things. You feel so, I don’t know…needy, I guess. I hesitated for a second before placing an open palm over the device, and giving the bell a soft slap. A sharp “DING!” reverberated through the small store, and I immediately pinched the metal bulb, silencing it. No sooner than I had done that, a soft shuffling noise emanated from the office.
“Hey, uh, sorry…do you guys have a phone? Like a house phone, maybe a payphone?” I asked before raising my hands and taking a step backward as the figure appeared in the doorway.
My brain felt as if it were short circuiting, trying to rationalize what I was seeing. Surely…surely the person had been in some kind of horrific accident, and my mother’s voice filled my head. “You shouldn’t stare Benjamin…you shouldn’t stare at people who look different…”, her words echoed through my brain, but god damned if I wasn’t doing just that. I scolded myself as the disfigured visage jerkily lurched from the office toward the register. No, no, I wasn’t being rude. My wide eyes were justified. There was no doubt that the thing I was seeing behind the counter wasn’t human.
“JORDAN!” I cried out in shock as the naked, sexless creature lumbered to a stop behind the register.
The thing craned its bald head upward and locked its electric blue eyes onto mine. Its breast slowly rose and sank as it hissed raspy breaths through a vacant smile. Thick strands of saliva hung from its unnaturally wrinkled skin, and dripped down its twisted, leathery visage. At first I thought it was lacking arms, but quickly realized that what I’d mistaken for breasts were its limbs…they were crossed across its chest like an unruly mental patient. The caveat was, that it wore no straightjacket. Its arms resided beneath its horrific dermis, and I could tell from its previous jerky, twitchy gait that something was very, very wrong with the thing.
“What the fuck, man…” I muttered anxiously before calling out again, “JORDAN!?”
There was no response from my girlfriend, but the pale, hairless, wrinkled thing began to cough. It hacked softly, its empty smile never faltering, its gaze never leaving my eyes. From its gullet flew a jet-black glob of phlegm, which landed with a splatter on the counter. The bile pulsated as it sat there, and I had to stifle a gag.
“Feed?” The thing spoke in a low, gravely voice. My heart was racing, and a cold sweat had formed on my brow.
“W-what…?” I sputtered.
“Feed.” The thing insisted. It then proceeded, in a swift motion, to ram its head onto the counter hard enough for a loud cracking sound to be heard even over the silver bell’s “ding”.
I flinched, and felt my stomach turn as the thing rose back up and I saw that the bell had lodged itself into one of the creature’s eyes, but even that didn’t dissuade the thing’s awful smile. Without hesitation it again smashed its face on the counter, setting off another “ding”, and I saw that the florescent lights above us were flickering.
I began screaming as the bashing, the dings, and flickering lights continued. The monster’s face was becoming more and more caved in as the beast rapidly mutilated itself before me. The same black substance it had coughed out sprayed from its cracked skull as the thing rapidly jerked its head up, and then back down. By the sixth round, it stopped, and the lights went out completely.
Thankfully, I wasn’t left in the dark with the crater-like face of the being. A soft, flickering orange glow danced across the walls, like the light of a campfire, but I saw no flame. I did, however, see that the place had changed significantly. The cigarette display behind the creature was smashed out and stripped of all products…likewise the knickknack displays were similarly raided, only rusty skeletons of the racks remained. The mustard colored wallpaper was faded, peeling, and wore an abundant amount of graffiti tags. There were several juvenile phrases covering the walls, but one repeated set of words stood out, as it was much larger and scrawled in frantic, black letters. “Beware Valmardu…”
A muffled yelping came from behind me as the oily substance began to pour from the creatures shattered face like a faucet. I whipped around and saw that the refrigerator behind me no longer held beverages, but a blood stained, wriggling burlap bag which hung suspended behind the glass. My initial thought was that it was a puppy squirming and whimpering inside. The bag could hold a small dog, and the panicked movements against the fabric could easily have belonged to four limbs. Whatever it was, it was in enormous pain, and instinctively I wanted to help, but that thought was quickly dispelled when I heard the restroom door clatter against the back wall.
“BEN!” Jordan shouted as she struggled to pull her jeans over her thighs without stopping her run.
She nearly fell, but managed to keep her footing as she bounded over one of the deer heads that had decorated the wall, now residing on the floor. She was a few feet from me when she got her pants up and was prepared to dive into my open arms when she saw the horrible creature standing stoically behind the counter. A shrill screech escaped her as she skidded to a stop, and I saw that her legs were wobbly. That wasn’t all, either. Blood was streaked across her cheeks, mouth, and chin; and her pants and the hem of her sweatshirt were damp with the oil-like substance. Her wide, terrified eyes immediately began to sob.
“We gotta go baby, c’mon!” I said, stepping toward her and grasping her hand. I turned us to face the frosted glass of the entrance door, and practically dragged her toward it.
The bloody bag cried out another volley of whimpers as we crossed the coolers, drawing a yelp from Jordan and sending a jolt through me.
“What’s in there Ben?!” Jordan shouted through her tears.
I didn’t answer. Instead I snaked my fingers around the door’s handle and jerked it open. The little jingle of its bell rang out, and seemed to signal something, for as soon as the sound filled my ears, an eerie, staticky voice began to come from Craterface’s gullet, unimpeded by the inky crude pouring from its gaping hole.
“Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace. These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery...” Craterface croaked out, its words sounding as if they were being produced by an antique TV rather than a monstrosity.
What struck me the most, though, was that I recognized the voice. That jowly mix of nasally and deep... I’m a bit of a history buff, and Nixon’s voice was easily placed. The speech, however, was not. In fact, it made no sense at all. I threw a glance over my shoulder. Beyond the wet, wide eyes of my girlfriend, I saw the rapidly expanding pool of murky black liquid had poured over the counter’s edge, and as it continued to grow there on the floor, I could make out the head and arms of a new figure, forming in the crude, reaching upward, seeming to pull itself from the pool. A jet-black being, with no defining features, I could hardly stand to look at the thing as it clawed at the air. I turned, and pulled Jordan through the open door, turned again and yanked the door closed behind us. As soon as it shut, the frosted glass went dark, the fiery hue dying immediately, leaving us in only the faint light of the moon high above.
“Ben…” I heard Jordan whimper softly as I felt her release my hand.
As soon as I turned away from the horrible building, I saw why. She’d brought both hands to her blood-smeared mouth to stifle her cries. The parking lot was coated in a sticky layer of blood, the crimson substance glimmering in the moonlight. I saw that the marquee, the sign that had beckoned us like a bug-zapper was no longer lit. In fact, it was in a state of disrepair, cracked, pieces broken free of the plastic dome, which itself was stained yellow. Following the rusted post with my eyes, I saw that its base was overgrown with flora. Most upsetting, though, was the weathered skeleton wearing tattered clothes that swayed in the light breeze, held up by the noose hanging from the damaged sign.
The red sports car parked near us showed signs of rapid aging too, taking on a more pink tone between the rust spots that spattered its body. The tires were torn, and windows smashed out, but my eyes were drawn to the open driver door, where a trail of blood led from the seat all the way through the parking lot, where it stopped abruptly below another hanging figure affixed to the canopy just beyond the ruined gas pump. It was less rotted, maintaining a few sprigs of hair, and some patches of skin on the skull. It also wore a red jacket emblazoned with the sports car’s logo. I shivered when I realized that the body of the man was swaying quite near my car, and remembered the horrible way my face had felt something brush by as I looked at the man’s only remaining leg, the foot of which dangled exactly where I’d stood as I waited for Jordan to exit our vehicle. The skin of my face crawled, but the horror was far from over.
I could see that the tires on my own vehicle had been shredded. The hood stood open, as did the passenger door. There, sitting in my car with his legs hanging out, was a thin man. He wore an old pair of overalls, and nothing else, save for an old, dirty bandana holding his greasy hair back. A wispy, patchy beard covered his cheeks. He was using a large hunting knife to pick at his fingernails while he stared at us. Well, one of his eyes stared at us…the other wandered, looking up and outward.
“What do you think, Maggie, food... or string ‘em up?” I heard him say in the thickest country accent one could imagine. His sinister smile revealed that most of his crooked teeth had rotted away.
“Mama’s gettin’ tired of squirrel…” Another voice chimed in from our right. The accent was just as thick, but with a noticeable impediment. I jerked my head in the direction of the new sound while Jordan continued to sob. My eyes caught the silhouette of a stick-thin woman rounding the side of the convenience store. She carried with her a long-handled axe, which she allowed to drag across the asphalt as she slowly stepped toward us. The sound of the steel axe-head scraping against the blacktop was chilling. “…Baby might not like dark meat though.” She finished with a light giggle. As she stepped closer, the moonlight illuminated her face, and I saw that she had a cleft lip and palate that rose into her left nostril, leaving half of her nose nothing more than a black hole. Suddenly, the odd speech pattern made sense.
I put myself between the approaching woman and my hysterical girlfriend, raised my hands in a nonthreatening way, and foolishly tried to reason with the hillbillies. “Listen to me, there is something in this store, and we have to go right now. We all need to get away from here…” I spoke calmly, fully aware that the duo meant to do us harm, but prayed my words might reach them on a human level.
“Now listen here, boy, ‘round these parts your kind don’t speak to our women!” The man in my car spat as he stood, extending his arm and pointing his knife at me. “Get ‘em, Cliff!” He finished.
Suddenly, a third member of the posse made themselves known. The man called Cliff had apparently been perched on the roof of the small building, as he came down on my back like a wild animal pouncing its prey, knocking Jordan to the ground. I, too, was forced to the ground under the man’s weight, my face connecting with the bloody asphalt, scraping my flesh and sending my head swirling. I fought to maintain consciousness as my eyes rolled and my head swam. I focused on Jordan’s hysteric screaming, and begged any god that would listen for help. In my confusion I barely registered the fact that I was being dragged. All sound began to fade, and then blackness.
I couldn’t have been out long. When I came to I was laying on my back staring up at the swaying man in the red jacket, my hands bound with rope in front of me. I heard Jordan screaming and noticed the second rope being lowered through the canopy above. My rope.
“Wakey wakey…” Said the man who’d been sitting in my car as he poked his head into view. I could smell his putrid breath as he spoke. “…We’re having ourselves a good ole lynchin’.” He finished with a wry smile before yanking me into a sitting position.
“That good, Bubba?” A man called down from the canopy. I reasoned that it had to be Cliff.
“Little bit lower…” My captor called back up, and I saw the noose drop another foot. “There ya go!”
It was then that I saw Jordan. She’d been forced to her knees as well, held in place by the wooden axe handle pressed against her throat. Her hands were also bound, and I saw that her glasses were no longer on her face. Her terrified expression along with the blood across her lower face gave her such a ghastly look. I could hear her gasps and whimpers, and hated myself for being so powerless. Then something clicked in my head that made everything so much worse. “…food, or string ‘em up…” Bubba had asked. I only saw one noose…
“You taking your trophy this time, Maggie?” Bubba called to the deformed girl holding Jordan hostage. “They say his kind have big ones…” He added.
“Guess we’ll find out.” Maggie spoke gleefully, eyeing my crotch.
Just beyond her I saw that Cliff was scaling down the canopy’s outside post with ease. He seemed more than adept at climbing, and made it to the ground quickly. Something about his movements seemed spider-like. The noose swayed inches from my face, and Cliff held the slack end of the rope. I watched as Bubba crossed the small gap to Jordan, handing his knife to Maggie and taking her place as Jordan’s captor. He knelt beside my girlfriend and ran his vile tongue up her cheek, apparently not put off by the blood.
“You’re gonna be delicious, and after, I’m gonna have fun with what’s left.” I heard him mutter as he groped Jordan’s breast before standing again, axe handle returning to her throat. “But first, lets watch.”
Maggie was approaching me in some weird stride that was a hybrid of seductive and lanky. She playfully waggled the knife in front of her malformed face. “Don’t worry, you wont have to live without it for long…” She uttered as she knelt before me, and trailed the knife along my inner thigh.
In an instant, the parking lot was flooded by a bright, blinding light. My eyes reflexively squeezed shut, as I was in the direct path of the powerful beam. A thunderous “BOOM” ripped through the air, and I forced my eyes to open a hair. I saw that Maggie had stood, and her back was to me. Beyond her I saw the silhouette of my kneeling girlfriend, and above her I watched as the the outline of Bubba, sans head, limply fell to the ground. Jordan began to scream as the axe clattered on the asphalt in front of her.
“Bubba!” Maggie’s own scream joined the symphony. “You killed him!” She yelled out aggressively.
“Jordan, run!” I shouted, climbing to my feet and and knocking Maggie to the ground as I pushed past her.
“Motherfucker!” I heard the downed girl mutter as I stumbled around in the bright light.
Thankfully, the more powerful beam suddenly vanished, and I was able to see much better after a second. The two headlight beams that illuminated the parking lot were much more tolerable, and I saw that Jordan was quivering, but had managed to get to her feet as well.
“They’re coming with me.” A voice, an authoritative one, boomed. I saw the figure standing next to the new car. A massive man, easily seven feet tall, and built like a mountain.
Pieces started to fall into place. The huge man’s tan outfit…his trooper hat and the shiny brass badge on his chest…the dome on top of his cruiser. A wave of relief washed over me.
“Jordan, he’s a cop!” I shouted to my girlfriend as I neared her. She seemed to not comprehend my words, though, panic in her amber eyes. I reached her, and using my roped hands, urged her toward the gigantic man. She didn’t fight me, and wordlessly followed my suggestion. The cop never took his eyes…or his gun…off of the rednecks. Even as he opened the back door of his cruiser.
“Get in.” He told us flatly, and we did, without hesitation. He closed the door behind us, and I frantically began trying to untie Jordan’s binds.
“Mama needs to eat!” I heard Maggie shout viciously at the cop while Cliff helped her to her feet.
“Plenty of food right there.” The cop shot back, jerking his head toward the decapitated body of Bubba. “I’ve told you people to stay out of Valmardu’s way. Starving aint a bad way to go.” He added sternly as he climbed into his drive’s seat.
His weight caused the left portion of the car to sink noticeably. He tossed the enormous cannon nonchalantly in the passenger seat, and threw the car into reverse. As we backed away, I saw the remaining two hicks glaring at us fiercely. Maggie, who had retrieved her axe, held the weapon out threateningly. The officer continued his backwards drive as I freed Jordan’s hands, and she began working on my binds. He then flipped the car’s orientation with an abrupt U-turn, stomped on the gas, and suddenly, the cruiser began speeding into the darkness.
“Welcome to Cedar Hollow.” He said without looking back at us.
submitted by RockoCharmichael to RockosRoom [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 11:54 27JJuldacket Play No Games Da-ting Si-te

Play No Games Da-ting Si-te
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https://preview.redd.it/2xivqwr2hdd51.jpg?width=275&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=505d5d62c794514322d7c810a28f66a86ffa028c
submitted by 27JJuldacket to u/27JJuldacket [link] [comments]


2020.07.16 22:10 Kazumi_The_Introvert How my entitled parents lost their PrEcIoUs bAbY

So this story has quite a bit of background but I'll try and make is as easy to understand as I can.
The people in this story are:
Me (22m)
My full brother (20) - Baka
My stepbrother (17) - Nani
My half brother (12) - Akuma
My Entitled Mother
My POS Father
The Backstory
My parents divorced when I was three years old, my mother and father had joint custody but Baka and I lived with my mother and only saw my father every other weekend. My father started dating my soon to be stepmom when I was five and married her when I was ten, they then had my youngest brother Akuma. My stepmom isn't really involved in this but I'd like to say she is one of the sanest people of the story and I honestly feel bad that she married my father. My mother is a complete narcissist and my father is one of those entitled racist rednecks with a violent streak.
Baka and I were extremely neglected by my mother, we'd be left home alone at a very young age for long periods of time, forced to fend for ourselves when it came to eating, and where often locked out of our crappy apartment in a very bad neighborhood. We lived in a spot where white people were the minority and trust me when I say that the people around us had no problem threatening to kick your ass for the color of your skin. A part of me wonders if this helped fueled my father's insufferable racism.
Despite the mental, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse, my mother very clearly had a favorite child and it was Baka. She had me when she was nineteen and Baka at twenty, I swear she only kept us to spite her parents because my grandparents told her she wouldn't be a good mom. My mother would always go easier on Baka despite his extreme behavioral problems, we later found out he had a severe case of Borderline Personality Disorder that caused him to get violent. That often meant I got the crap beat of me. My mother refused to get him treatment. She had a weird thing about just toughing things out. I once had strep and the flu, had to drive my seventeen-year-old self to the urgent care only to be told that my heart rate was one number away from them legally having to call an ambulance. If it went up any more then I would have to go to the hospital, my mother responded by saying the doctors just wanted more money from us. She even made her 'favorite' child walk without crutches when he had stitches in his foot because it would "heal faster".
My father didn't do much to us, he screamed a lot, a ton of empty threats and breaking things. He never touched us because my mother was so trigger happy about suing him. He did however severely abuse Nani. Nani is a sweet kid with a learning disability and my father made it very clear to him at a young age that he was never his son. When Akuma was born he became a spoiled brat. So much so that they didn't celebrate Nani's birthday so they would have more money to spend on Akuma. Now that you have the main idea of what the background is, let's get to the good stuff, how my parent's star child cut them off.
The Story
Baka was my father's everything, he listened to country music, he made racist/homophobic comments, and best of all was going into the military to fight for his country. My mother saw Baka as her crowned bragging piece. She got to tell everyone how brave and selfless her son was while he was away and of course use his sweet military discount. What my father didn't know is that Baka loved metal music, was in a gay relationship and not so legally adopted by his boyfriend's lesbian parents, and was joining the military to get the fuck away from our family. Baka left for boot camp and we got word that he'd be graduating at the top of his class (is it considered a class in boot camp? Idfk). Of course, my parents were over the moon and for once in their lives got along to coordinate how to drive eight hours across the country to go see him on base for the graduation.
I personally lived further away, my mother kicked me out after Baka left and I moved in with my boyfriend further north three states away. Despite not wanting to go and Baka not caring if I showed up, my mother and father literally hounded me like the hell spawns they are until I went. So I finally spent my money to drive all the way down to see him. My mother making plans for me to stay with her while we were down there. Now before I tell you just how nasty things got, you should know that after being kicked out and getting mental help from my hellish upbringing, turns out I have C-PTSD, BPD, Bipolar 2 (runs in the family), AvPD, and GAD. Two of those disorders run in my family, the others are all basically caused by trauma and abuse.
At this point in my life and still, to this day, my triggers are so severe that I can't have a job. I couldn't even leave my house alone for more than ten minutes before having an episode. My mother refused to allow me to bring my service dog and I nearly died just trying to make it across the country to this graduation. When I got there it was immediately clear that this was going to be one of the worst experiences of my life. My mother got so nasty that I nearly OD'd on anxiety meds to keep me from having a public episode on the base. When we were in the hotel I collapsed in the bathroom and told my mother that I thought I was going to pass out and her exact words were "what do you expect me to do?" before she laid in bed and watched Netflix. Needlessly to say it was complete hell. She basically used me as a human punching bag because my brother's boyfriend's family came down to support him (my parents to this day still don't know they're together, even though a blind man could see they love each other). My father and mother were both pissed that he spent the whole time with his boyfriend's family than with his 'blood family'.
I ended up having enough and walked out of my mother's hotel room one night as she was cussing me out, I just took my phone, no shoes, no wallet, I just left and called my boyfriend sobbing. I came back an hour later to find that my mother left and locked me out, she didn't come back for four hours and I had to get the maintenance guys to let me back into the room. When the trip finally came to a close and we were on our way home my mother decided to bestow her ever so loving thoughts to me. She said, and I quote "Baka is a soldier now, he's got his whole life set up for him and will never have to worry about anything. I'm so proud of him, he really made something of himself. Too bad I can't say the same for you." I had just dropped out of college six months before completing my first degree because the college counselors were worried about me and their disabled student program wouldn't be able to cover my major symptoms, which at the time were me literally falling unconscious.
The Revenge
After a few months of life going back to normal and more intense doctor visits on my end, turns out my mother re-traumatized me and I had to get on some heavy meds. My brother randomly called me. He had finished his schooling in CA and was now stationed overseas, a privilege only the top two soldiers were supposed to get. I had heard that my parents were all over the place happy about it. Baka never called me so when he did I was surprised, to say the least. He asked me about what happened during his graduation and I told him. We've always been brutally honest with one another and despite us being mostly indifferent towards each other's existence, we do have a bond forged in surviving abuse. When my brother found out exactly what happened he was livid, honestly livid doesn't even seem to express how angry he was.
Apparently he had been playing along with my parent's wishes to talk every week, write letters, etc. just to keep them at bay since he was overseas and my father had let it slip about what happened. We had a somewhat awkward conversation about our sucky childhood and he ended the call by basically saying fuck'm. It only took about a week before my parents started texting me if I had heard from Baka. My parents had been sending him these huge care package stuff and trying to call him but the packages were returned to them and the calls were never picked up. My brother cut contact off completely. My parents were forced to pay huge customs fines on all these packages and they later found out that Baka was only keeping contact with his boyfriend's parents. When Baka came home for the first time in two years he stayed with his boyfriends parents and refused to go see my parents. He only saw my mother when she drove him to see me, again three states away, she was under the impression that he'd stay with her afterward but he left the day after to go back overseas.
When he went back overseas I got a text from Baka, he was in Japan at a huge anime convention and asked if I wanted something. Of course, I said yes and he said that he'd give it to me the next time he came home. He also said that he was changing his last name to the name I changed mine to (the last name of one of my favorite anime characters). So that's the story of how my entitled abusive parents lost their star child for treating their other kids like garbage. Baka is still a baka, but I couldn't be prouder to be his older brother.
TLDR: My parents abused and neglected my brothers and I. My little brother went into the military and they tried to use him as a way to brag and belittle me. My brother cuts contact, makes them pay a crap ton in customs fees, changes his name, and gets (not legally) adopted by his boyfriend's family all while making sure my parents know he'll talk to anyone but them.
Edit: Thank you stranger for the award! And thank you to all the redditors that have reached out and wished my brother and I well. We're okay, Baka is enjoying his station in Japan and I am happily living far away from my family.
submitted by Kazumi_The_Introvert to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2020.06.30 01:00 TopOfTheBot Top Posts and Comments of the Day

Top of the Day for 30/06/2020

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Most Upvoted Posts of the Day

First Place
That's the reason behind all these
posted by FreddyKrum on /memes
Click here to view the post. ● 157,810 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 08:23:17 UTC
Second Place
Jack Black walking past a couple and accidentally recreates the 'distracted boyfriend' meme
posted by naravianana on /pics
Click here to view the post. ● 147,581 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 15:48:43 UTC
Third Place
iOS 14 bout to expose some people
posted by Zelderian on /memes
Click here to view the post. ● 141,498 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 12:44:05 UTC
Fourth Place
Iran issues arrest warrant for Trump; asks Interpol to help
posted by hildebrand_rarity on /worldnews
Click here to view the post. ● 115,519 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 11:00:58 UTC
Fifth Place
Heck ya son
posted by ItchiUcha on /wholesomememes
Click here to view the post. ● 105,778 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 11:22:23 UTC

Most Downvoted Posts of the Day

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Most Upvoted Comments of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development. Currently this only gets the most upvoted top-level comments from the most upvoted posts today.
First Place
Great callback to episode 1 of 2020
posted by nic_cage_da_elephant on /worldnews
Click here to view the post. ● 40,890 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 13:07:00 UTC
Second Place
I have to say, that's genuinely hilarious. Obviously won't result in anything, but nicely played.
posted by nonotan on /worldnews
Click here to view the post. ● 25,074 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 11:34:29 UTC
Third Place
NEXT : \"Trump classifies the Interpol as a Terrorist Organisation \"
posted by paddington01 on /worldnews
Click here to view the post. ● 11,707 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 12:23:36 UTC
Fourth Place
2020 keeps delivering
posted by Jonesy_Oz on /worldnews
Click here to view the post. ● 11,062 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 11:02:36 UTC
Fifth Place
This is not The Greatest Picture in the World, no. This is just a tribute.
posted by TooShiftyForYou on /pics
Click here to view the post. ● 10,894 Upvotes ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 16:37:07 UTC

Most Downvoted Comments of the Day

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Most Gilded Posts of the Day

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First Place
Update to Our Content Policy
posted by spez on /announcements
Click here to view the post. ● 9,654 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 17:00:06 UTC
Second Place
Reddit, Acting Against Hate Speech, Bans ‘The_Donald’ Subreddit
posted by Austin63867 on /news
Click here to view the post. ● 94,545 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 17:25:35 UTC
Third Place
Just a lad Jammimg and practicing
posted by The_One_Jedi on /RedditSessions
Click here to view the post. ● 979 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 14:21:50 UTC
Fourth Place
Just the cover art for Minecraft. Please don't zoom in.
posted by JanDoedelGaming on /gaming
Click here to view the post. ● 9,921 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 20:49:02 UTC
Fifth Place
BLACKPINK officially breaks the 24 hour YouTube record with 'How You Like That' MV with 86.3 MILLION according to the platform
posted by Mobile750APKStore on /kpop
Click here to view the post. ● 795 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 19:44:43 UTC

Most Gilded Comments of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development.
First Place
Bullshit. I'm left wing, and you've allowed and encouraged doxxing campaigns for the past year against the \"Karens\" without any repercussions. You've condoned public humiliation on a scale never before seen in human history. And you've made a lot of money doing it. `You don't give a fuck about hate speech. You let u/violentacrez run wild for years posting pictures of half naked children. You're profiteering off of social unrest to court advertisers. Nothing more, nothing less. You betrayed everything Aaron Swartz stood for when he created Reddit so you could keep your sleazy VC buddies and Chinese government investors happy. ` Every single word that comes out of your mouth is a lie, u/Spez. There's a reason why Big Tech is the most hated sector in the world, and it's because of pandemic profiteers like you. You, Dorsey, Zuckerberg, Pichai, and Bezos are the enemies of democracy, actively destabilizing western societies with your addictive, divisive poison. The governments of the world need to reign you Silicon Valley mutants in before more people suffer and die. Frankly, I think you and your billionaire pals belong in prison. `Enjoy life in your doomsday bunker, you rich freak.` **EDIT: Don't buy me Gold or Silver. Stop giving Reddit your hard earned money. Use it as a copypasta or share in other subs instead. Also, look into Ruqqus.com**
posted by stupidpolbanplan on /announcements
Click here to view the post. ● 1,736 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 19:12:49 UTC
Second Place
Why won’t the admins address the most inciteful, violent, harassing, and brigading sub, /politics? They endorse this hate in their monthly mod newsletters. I remember spez hates gays (remember pulse?) so when will he resign? `**Edit: more examples here; none have been removed yet-** **https://old.reddit.com/announcements/comments/hi3oht/update_to_our_content_policy/fwe581w/?context=3**` /politics on the London attack: \"I just hope the people who were on that bridge were redneck Republicans like you so the slaughter was justified.\" [+63] https://i.redd.it/1latls7dqeny.jpg `[/politics](http://redditsearch.io/politics) \"Let's put arsenic in drinks and slip it to Trump supporters\"` `\"All gun owners should have their guns taken away from them and then be executed\" http://i.imgur.com/Pr5Fnvs.png` \"I'm going to say something unpopular here. When I heard that someone had shot Republicans, my first immediate hope was that someone finally did something about McConnel.https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6jgg1d/mitch_mcconnell_refused_to_meet_with_group_that/djea1i2/?st=J4DHK2G4&sh=78ada641 `\"That is correct. The shooter is a true patriot\". \"Hunting Season for the Despicable Republicans on The Hill is now OPEN!!!! No Licenses required, no Minimums ... so Hunters, Bag All You Want!!!!!\"https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6hbvu3/no_political_disagreement_justifies_steve_scalise/dix59kg/` [Regarding Republicans] \"What else can be done?\", \"Going to the homes of Republican lawmakers in the middle of the night, dragging them into the street, and turning them into tree ornaments [Lynching].\" https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6auqyn/the_head_of_the_census_resigned_it_could_be_as/dhht4d8/?st=j2ndxt69&sh=2a41b6c8 `\"Some people will not go to the grave quietly, like the GOP hopes. Some will defend themselves and fight for their lives.\" \"That's justified, too.\" \"All rich people deserve to die.\" \"Actually, I take that back. The rich aren't people.\" \"This is a very dangerous game these guys are playing, and it's honestly looking like we might need to start sharpening our guillotines\"` `https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6h74it/gunman_opens_fire_on_gop_congressional_baseball/diwuixs/` \"Guerilla warfare and we control and know major metro areas. That and the fact that everyone has a family.\" \"It would be brutal, bloody and we would have to commit war crimes but that's how it would have to be done.\" \"I'm okay with forced re-education camps for Trump supporters. They'll still get treated better than the kids in the child detention centers\" https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9j239an_outrageous_move_by_chickensht_gop_as_grassley/e6o69of/?sh=3eca0d1d&st=JMJAZ4O8 `\"I’m tired of this shit and am ready for another Civil War. That, or let us go. We Metros do not want to be part of this bullshit anymore.\" https://old.reddit.com/politics/comments/9i2m0l/on_november_6_vote_like_the_whole_world_depended/e6ggro9` \"I want McConnell to suffer a terrible fate before he dies.\" https://www.ceddit.com/politics/comments/9lh0kc/mitch_mcconnell_is_killing_the_senate/e76tr7c/ `\"Good for you Americans that see these scumbags (democrat and republican) and call them on their bullshit. Go ahead, doxx the fuck out of them. Make them feel uncomfortable in their own homes. Make them feel threatened and insecure. Might just make them think twice about serving the people instead of fucking the people.\" https://reddit.com/politics/comments/9lhh75/my_husband_rand_paul_and_our_family_have_suffered/e76wd78/` I really hate myself for feeling this way, but I sort of wish someone had shot a bunch of GOP Senators to change the math on the vote. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lv1u0/man_threatens_to_shoot_members_of_congress_if/e7a0e66/ `He's been posting pro-Trump and pro-Kavanaugh stuff on Facebook, just not publicly. I feel like outing him. https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9llwlw/facebook_employees_outraged_over_top_execs_public/e77qc21/` Jesus fucking Christ. My wishes for how we punish the GOP have gotten very dark. https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9lqxve/susan_collins_senate_speech_was_a_cruel_attack_on/e78yu1g/ `I hope people vote in november so we can get the political (or real) guillotines ready for the asswipes. Fuck it. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lqxve/susan_collins_senate_speech_was_a_cruel_attack_on/e78yu1g/` I hope the next maga meeting results in a mass shooting. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lz2qd/megathread_brett_kavanaugh_confirmed_to_the/e7aksbh/ `I have the spine, the guns, and The People. I’ve resigned myself to dying or being put in jail, it’ll make me a fucking hero. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lvmrg/supreme_court_could_lose_legitimacy_if_not_viewed/e7adqzs/` Fuck the Republicans. Fuck the South. Fuck the flyover states... https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lxw3t/discussion_megathread_final_senate_confirmation/e7ai6a2/?sh=169f0692&st=JMXVGE72 `I'm not wishing violence against her, but, although I'm agnostic, when she does die, I hope it turns out hell is real and she is tormented for all eternity. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lxevw/susan_collinss_brett_kavanaugh_speech_was_the/e7a7rzt/` If we can eradicate... http://magaimg.net/img/6e09.png `Donald Trump is the worst president in history. His presidency is an existential threat to our entire species. He should be removed immediately by military coup, and his supporters should be punished. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9mdrf0/the_trump_administration_has_entered_stage_5/e7dvdhz/` Fuck if it gets me banned, im going to say it - the moment that Kavanaugh makes it legal for the executive to pardon any crime, we become a dictatorship and it's time for violent fucking revolt. Fuck that. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lxw3t/discussion_megathread_final_senate_confirmation/e7aifrw/ `Violence should be a last resort, but nothing should be off the table. It's too late for voting alone to save us. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9mrnm1/bernie_sanders_authoritarian_leaders_around_the/e7gti3j/` How do you be civil with someone who actively denies the existence of a well-proven and already-occurring planetary environmental catastrophe? With a rope and a tall tree? https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9n1djhillary_clinton_you_cannot_be_civil_with/e7j35wp/?context=3 `It's funny how I thought the other day, \"You know, if Secretary Mattis were to stage a military coup in the country, I think I'd actually be okay with that.\" https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9n4mzq/morning_consult_poll_bernie_sanders_is_most/e7jrog6/` How do you remove people from power when they remove the legal avenue for removing them from power? By killing them, the French way. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9nj1ly/opinion_democracy_in_danger_in_georgia/e7mr7nh/ `Start hanging Republicans. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9o2kcus_plans_to_expand_tent_camp_in_texas_foe7qzzf1/` They should bomb it. Edit: I stand by my statement https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9o58cw/nyc_republican_headquarters_vandalized/e7rgbst/ ` I am equally glad that their personal senses of dignity and self worth will likely be decimated as well, adding the psychological anguish of hopelessness, worthlessness, and an inability to financially support their families to the physical pains of poverty. https://np.reddit.com/politics/comments/9o86je/trumps_60_minutes_interview_once_again_reveals/e7sez4u/`
posted by JoeBidenTouchedMe on /announcements
Click here to view the post. ● 1,765 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 17:46:44 UTC
Third Place
In one series of odd under the table jobs that I had over the last 15 years, I was working at a place called White Post Farms. It's a petting zoo type thing where people bring kids. `The chickens were eerily calm that day and it wasn't until I cleaned their pen that I realized why. Every so often, a mouse would run across their pen, take a bit of food, and run out. They watched the little thing go back and forth, they were hypnotized by it.` A couple of chickens took a step forward whenever the mouse disappeared from sight. Mouse goes to the food, chicken takes a step. Mouse goes back away, chicken takes a step. By the 8th or 9th trip, three chickens were right at the path that the mouse was following back and forth. Then they stilled. `I don't know what goes on in a chickens mind, but I remember Jurassic Park and XKCD. Raptors were planners, schemers, they were smart. They had to be, they were also small. Small as a turkey. They had to be smart and hunt in packs to survive. ` Mouse goes to the bowl, chicken takes a step and squats behind him. Mouse heads back, chicken is in the way, the mouse stops. That was the mistake of his life. There was a moment of clarity within the little mouse brain, that I imagine was interrupted by him getting swarmed by three chickens. The first one grabbed him by the back. It slammed him into the ground over and over. `BY the fourth or fifth slam, the mouse was freed. Only for a second, hen two got his tail. Oh boy, did she get him by the tail. She swung him around like a ball at the end of a string. On one arc, hen 3 grabbed his front paw. They pulled the poor mouse, I saw that little beady eye come to the realization that this was it. ` You know how chickens can keep their head in place while you move their body? They can also keep their body in place while you move their head. So two chicken heads moving opposite directions, one up and one down, well, that leads to a pretty rough bit of spontaneous chiropractics for little Fievel. Never in my life did I think I would hear a spine break in person, but I did. `Some people say that it could be so quiet that you can hear a mouse fart. I realized that even when it's loud with children running and screaming, you can still hear a mouse's spine snap. However, the mouse was still alive. The back legs and tail went limp but the front legs were still whirring away. Then they dropped him and just watched him drag himself for a couple of feet. ` This is around the time that all hell broke loose. The pen had 12 chickens. 3 were actively and non consensually dissecting this mouse while the other 9 watched, like a crowd watching a gladiator serve a death sentence. Empowered by the crippled little rodent, a chorus of 12 chickens screamed for blood. It slowly became a mosh pit of feather, these little hens just went ape on the poor thing. Kicks, bites, pecks, stomps, I lost sight of the mouse in flying feathers and fur. When the chickens dispersed, after what felt like an eternity, there was just a streak of blood left where a mouse once sat. ` The idea that dinosaurs had feathers wasn't as popular back then. But I knew, from that experience, deep in my being, that dinosaurs had feathers. And they still walk among us.`
posted by Privvy_Gaming on /WTF
Click here to view the post. ● 2,568 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 27/06/2020 at 18:50:18 UTC
Fourth Place
Theres aa sub you missed then: If you dont want to ban politics whats your explanation? politics on the London attack: \"I just hope the people who were on that bridge were redneck Republicans like you so the slaughter was justified.\" [+63] https://i.redd.it/1latls7dqeny.jpg `/politics \"Let's put arsenic in drinks and slip it to Trump supporters\" \"All gun owners should have their guns taken away from them and then be executed\" http://i.imgur.com/Pr5Fnvs.png` \"I'm going to say something unpopular here. When I heard that someone had shot Republicans, my first immediate hope was that someone finally did something about McConnel.https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6jgg1d/mitch_mcconnell_refused_to_meet_with_group_that/djea1i2/?st=J4DHK2G4&sh=78ada641 `\"That is correct. The shooter is a true patriot\". \"Hunting Season for the Despicable Republicans on The Hill is now OPEN!!!! No Licenses required, no Minimums ... so Hunters, Bag All You Want!!!!!\"https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6hbvu3/no_political_disagreement_justifies_steve_scalise/dix59kg/` [Regarding Republicans] \"What else can be done?\", \"Going to the homes of Republican lawmakers in the middle of the night, dragging them into the street, and turning them into tree ornaments [Lynching].\" https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6auqyn/the_head_of_the_census_resigned_it_could_be_as/dhht4d8/?st=j2ndxt69&sh=2a41b6c8 `\"Some people will not go to the grave quietly, like the GOP hopes. Some will defend themselves and fight for their lives.\" \"That's justified, too.\" \"All rich people deserve to die.\" \"Actually, I take that back. The rich aren't people.\" \"This is a very dangerous game these guys are playing, and it's honestly looking like we might need to start sharpening our guillotines\" https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/6h74it/gunman_opens_fire_on_gop_congressional_baseball/diwuixs/` \"Guerilla warfare and we control and know major metro areas. That and the fact that everyone has a family.\" \"It would be brutal, bloody and we would have to commit war crimes but that's how it would have to be done.\" \"I'm okay with forced re-education camps for Trump supporters. They'll still get treated better than the kids in the child detention centers\" https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9j239an_outrageous_move_by_chickensht_gop_as_grassley/e6o69of/?sh=3eca0d1d&st=JMJAZ4O8 `\"I’m tired of this shit and am ready for another Civil War. That, or let us go. We Metros do not want to be part of this bullshit anymore.\" https://old.reddit.com/politics/comments/9i2m0l/on_november_6_vote_like_the_whole_world_depended/e6ggro9` \"I want McConnell to suffer a terrible fate before he dies.\" https://www.ceddit.com/politics/comments/9lh0kc/mitch_mcconnell_is_killing_the_senate/e76tr7c/ `\"Good for you Americans that see these scumbags (democrat and republican) and call them on their bullshit. Go ahead, doxx the fuck out of them. Make them feel uncomfortable in their own homes. Make them feel threatened and insecure. Might just make them think twice about serving the people instead of fucking the people.\" https://reddit.com/politics/comments/9lhh75/my_husband_rand_paul_and_our_family_have_suffered/e76wd78/` I really hate myself for feeling this way, but I sort of wish someone had shot a bunch of GOP Senators to change the math on the vote. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lv1u0/man_threatens_to_shoot_members_of_congress_if/e7a0e66/ `He's been posting pro-Trump and pro-Kavanaugh stuff on Facebook, just not publicly. I feel like outing him. https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9llwlw/facebook_employees_outraged_over_top_execs_public/e77qc21/` Jesus fucking Christ. My wishes for how we punish the GOP have gotten very dark. https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9lqxve/susan_collins_senate_speech_was_a_cruel_attack_on/e78yu1g/ `I hope people vote in november so we can get the political (or real) guillotines ready for the asswipes. Fuck it. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lqxve/susan_collins_senate_speech_was_a_cruel_attack_on/e78yu1g/` I hope the next maga meeting results in a mass shooting. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lz2qd/megathread_brett_kavanaugh_confirmed_to_the/e7aksbh/ `I have the spine, the guns, and The People. I’ve resigned myself to dying or being put in jail, it’ll make me a fucking hero. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lvmrg/supreme_court_could_lose_legitimacy_if_not_viewed/e7adqzs/` Fuck the Republicans. Fuck the South. Fuck the flyover states... https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lxw3t/discussion_megathread_final_senate_confirmation/e7ai6a2/?sh=169f0692&st=JMXVGE72 `I'm not wishing violence against her, but, although I'm agnostic, when she does die, I hope it turns out hell is real and she is tormented for all eternity. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lxevw/susan_collinss_brett_kavanaugh_speech_was_the/e7a7rzt/` If we can eradicate... http://magaimg.net/img/6e09.png `Donald Trump is the worst president in history. His presidency is an existential threat to our entire species. He should be removed immediately by military coup, and his supporters should be punished. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9mdrf0/the_trump_administration_has_entered_stage_5/e7dvdhz/` Fuck if it gets me banned, im going to say it - the moment that Kavanaugh makes it legal for the executive to pardon any crime, we become a dictatorship and it's time for violent fucking revolt. Fuck that. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9lxw3t/discussion_megathread_final_senate_confirmation/e7aifrw/ `Violence should be a last resort, but nothing should be off the table. It's too late for voting alone to save us. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9mrnm1/bernie_sanders_authoritarian_leaders_around_the/e7gti3j/` How do you be civil with someone who actively denies the existence of a well-proven and already-occurring planetary environmental catastrophe? With a rope and a tall tree? https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9n1djhillary_clinton_you_cannot_be_civil_with/e7j35wp/?context=3 `It's funny how I thought the other day, \"You know, if Secretary Mattis were to stage a military coup in the country, I think I'd actually be okay with that.\" https://www.reddit.com/politics/comments/9n4mzq/morning_consult_poll_bernie_sanders_is_most/e7jrog6/` How do you remove people from power when they remove the legal avenue for removing them from power? By killing them, the French way. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9nj1ly/opinion_democracy_in_danger_in_georgia/e7mr7nh/ `Start hanging Republicans. https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9o2kcus_plans_to_expand_tent_camp_in_texas_foe7qzzf1/` They should bomb it. Edit: I stand by my statement https://snew.notabug.io/politics/comments/9o58cw/nyc_republican_headquarters_vandalized/e7rgbst/ ` I am equally glad that their personal senses of dignity and self worth will likely be decimated as well, adding the psychological anguish of hopelessness, worthlessness, and an inability to financially support their families to the physical pains of poverty. https://np.reddit.com/politics/comments/9o86je/trumps_60_minutes_interview_once_again_reveals/e7sez4u/`
posted by Patient_Arachnid on /announcements
Click here to view the post. ● 2,427 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 19:21:40 UTC
Fifth Place
Honestly, whether a public service is cheaper than what companies can offer shouldn’t enter into consideration, because companies will often cut the part of the services that are not or just less profitable. You offer public services because they’re beneficial to your population, not because of how profitable they are. Another example is transportation. Companies will never run lines that aren’t profitable, while a public service can keep them thanks to more profitable ones. Healthcare in the US has just derailed so much that it’s neither accessible, nor the most efficient for most people paying it.
posted by Dragweird on /politics
Click here to view the post. ● 212 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 29/06/2020 at 13:16:30 UTC
submitted by TopOfTheBot to TopOfThe [link] [comments]


2020.06.20 01:36 thatpiccnurse Service dogs/animals need to have stricter regulations.

It is my opinion that the laws need to change regarding service animals. I feel that they should have to be registered and the owners should have to carry some kind of paperwork with them whenever they are out in public. I am tired of going into Lowes and seeing Johnny McRedneck with his 150 lb. German Shepherd or going into Walmart and seeing Karen Complain-Alot with her emotionally supportive Yorkie. As far as anyone knows, none of these animals are regulated or even up to date on their shots. At any moment they could bite a child.
If you truly need a service animal, then I can completely understand and will be accepting of that, but I think there needs to be more regulations.
submitted by thatpiccnurse to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]


2020.06.19 01:45 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 6 (121 titles left!)

Results!
Keys will go out once the toddler is asleep.
Round 7!
There will be another 25 winners. If you won in a previous round, you will not be eligible for this contest. Rule 9 in effect and www.redditraffler.com will be used. You have 24 hours!
Please comment below with your most desired games. If you include 2-5 games, you’ll likely keep the whole process smooth.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls! I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now. I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler. For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.06.17 15:17 Gemini_soup 200+ giveaway keys from HB and Fanatical

The response rate has dropped to a point where it is no longer worth my time to PM people. I will keep the leftover games for future giveaways.
Update: I know who the winners are, but they have to choose in order. After a day and a half, 21 people now have keys that they didn't! The system isn't perfect, I know, I'm sorry. I'm trying to PM people in groups of 5 and give me their top choices. Sorry for the formatting issues.
Starting now you have 12 hours from when I PM you to give me your choice. It's not fair everybody has to wait because you can't check your inbox for free games.
EDIT: Entries are closed. I will start notifying winners. To clarify: I will ask a winner to pick from the list of available games. I will take that game / key off the list, then the next person gets the next pick. So it's like that Netflix movie Platform.
Please don't PM me and ask if you won. If you won, I'll PM you. It may take a while because I want to wait to hear back from each person. I'll try to update the list for all to see after every 10 or 20 that are chosen.
Please be patient and enjoy. For those of you interested, we had 1198 valid entries and 237 games to give away. I went to random.org and generated a random set of 237 integers between 1 and 1198 with no repeats and in the order in which they were generated. Every person got assigned a number and that's how I figured out who the winners were in order.
Original Post
I did a giveaway yesterday that was first come first serve. I don't think that's necessarily fair, so this time I'm going to keep this open for about 48 hours and then randomly pick people to choose games off this list. So please just post that you're interested. There are a lot of games here, so you don't need to post what you want, just that you're entering.
I still have a bunch of keys that I probably won't ever use, and it's better suited for people who will actually use it.
If you "won" on my giveaway yesterday, you'll be moved to the bottom of the list so others can win. Some of these games have DLC, I'll try to include them when you win.
Most of these keys are for steam, there are some that are for UPLAY or other services. Some games I have more than 1 key for. Please don't be a choosing beggar. This takes time and effort on my part plus the money I spent on these. Please don't PM me and ask for a game.
UPDATED 2020-07-01 6:30 PM EST
11-11 Memories Retold ronomakik
12 is Better Than 6 Game
7 Days to Die gelherme
A Story About My Uncle negro_boi
Aaero shv-klatch
Absolver akapika
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Agony barelylegalasians
Almost There: The Platformer
American Truck Simulator ananthah
Angry Video Game Nerd II: ASSimilation comprehensivehat6
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation stevejohnsen
Assassin's Creed® whybeingparanoid
Banner Saga 2 anorak211994
Battle Chef Brigade meth6
Bear With Me - Collector's Edition
Beholder enzonogueiracosta
Bendy and the Ink Machine™ actualdisappointment
Black the Fall dredmor
Blackwake littlemisfit
BlazBlue: Chronophantasma Extend deku_scrub777
Bleed 2
Borderlands 2 hshshshhf
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel higgsfield21
Broken Sword 5: The Serpents Curse dudbrother
Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 Standard Edition BattleNet won't let you gift
Call of Duty®: WWII pixar_is_awesome
Castaway Paradise - Town Building Sim
Caveblazers
Chroma Squad abelardo17
Chroma Squad
Cities: Skylines + After Dark DLC gaston_jack
Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin 159753123last
Conan Exiles tabletopcorner
Cook, Serve, Delicious! sunmermoons
Crazy Machines 3 phixygamer
Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX)
DARK SOULS™ III amog86
Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition totokishi
Dead Island Definitive Edition stogle1
Dead Rising 2 competitivebathroom1
Dead Rising 4 cristhvini
Deadbeat Heroes canadea
Deadlight disdiguyting
Demigod ninjapapi
Destiny 2 biggus-dikkus
Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition mrcarmemeboy
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided misterz87
Distance milkyquesadilla
DISTRAINT 2
Do Not Feed the Monkeys wnskim
Dog Sled Saga
Dreamfall Chapters nightxar
Dub Dash
Duelyst - Cosmetics Bundle
Dungeon of the Endless waynejerdon
Dungeons 3 maxvincent87
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 saturnarc
Empire: Total War Collection r3start
Endless Legend™ - Classic Edition tabris2k
Endless Legend™ - Classic Edition r3dd1tard
Endless Space - Collection kinkyregae
Equilinox intincas
ESO Vanity pet
Fidel - Dungeon Rescue
Fight'N Rage jadedsprint
Figment
Finding Paradise
Forged Battalion osito2002
Frontiers didn't work
Frostpunk jet90
Full Metal Furies maxcaligo
Galactic Civilizations® I: Ultimate Edition poopiks17
Galactic Civilizations® II: Ultimate Edition mbkmin56
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy jdc400
God's Trigger longwaters
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
H1Z1 roundupgaming
Hand of Fate agnorak262
Hard Reset Redux galgi333
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON elvengarden
Hive Jump mr_not_a_bot
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
I'm not a Monster
Immortal Redneck crococlaw
Infinite Air with Mark McMorris
Jagged Alliance 2 - Wildfire
Jagged Alliance 2 Classic
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition itsnachikethahere
Kerbal Space Program epic_penguin96
Killing Floor wetrippycuz
Kimmy
Lara Croft GO captain-kay
Laser League
Late Shift hungaryat
LEGRAND LEGACY: Tale of the Fatebounds soapd1sh
LiEat creeper126
Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5) soulofthesteppe
Little Nightmares iwizardb
Mad Games Tycoon pluhotrav
Mafia III tjo06752
Mega Man Legacy Collection marianothiago
METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES dakuroa
Metal Gear Solid V The Phantom Pain + DLC forgot this for the original list betraxa
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year peppersge
MINIT johncola9
Monster Prom maxame
MOTHERGUNSHIP protokitty
Mr. Shifty kanahemmo
NBA 2K17 infinit187k
NBA Playgrounds moonite
Neon Drive (Steam)
NeuroVoider
Nex Machina bootleg6786
Nex Machina bluethunder940
Nongünz
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition yordib123
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD demannu86
Outlast 2 ricardio1234
Overgrowth juanchio88
Override: Mech City Brawl urazar
Owlboy spit366
Oxenfree umutmcan
Pacify ferrarihypeexpress
Paradigm playerunavailable
Paratopic roseora
Passpartout: The Starving Artist redpandastrikesback
Pathologic Classic HD marooonxv
Pillars of Eternity shadowfoxfire
Pinstripe rovig7
Plague Inc: Evolved flyboyg
Planetary Annihilation: TITANS c4rc05a
Pool Panic krowned_cat
Portal Knights shokugekinokyojin
Prison Architect limelightau
Project CARS 2 kafigoto
Punch Club
Punch Club - Deluxe Edition
Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator fanaticfandom
Puss! fearsomespoon
Q.U.B.E. 2 64marlin64
Quake Champions Early Access plus 50 Shards
Quantum Break kaioken
Race.a.bit
Rapture Rejects edesmile
Rebel Galaxy coyotevapes
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered atrain61910
Regular Human Basketball xtjan
Replica
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition derpycke
Resident Evil Revelations gibbay
Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs verymainelobster
Rivals of Aether sosaboy
RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry
River City Ransom: Underground lanzalot06
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
RUINER aranorde
Running with Rifles
Satellite Reign
Screencheat darudest_dude
Shadowrun Returns
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut merpofsilence
Shadowrun: Hong Kong - Extended Edition
Shadwen terrorist_69
Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
She Remembered Caterpillars supperissupersuperb
Shoppe Keep
Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity®
Siralim 3 wendythewillow
Skullgirls captainchitas
Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition sschulze13
Slipstream vkz9tql9
Snake Pass turkeytowel
Sniper Elite luffyx26
Sniper Elite 3 jjmanbro
Sniper Elite 4 qcinfinite
Sonic Mania xxlucabossxx
SOULCALIBUR VI scalesthefish
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy wxdestroyer
Squad (Early Access) oli4004
Steel Rats
STRAFE: Millennium Edition jokerthevirus
Styx: Shards of Darkness dramaticfool
Sudden Strike 4 tehmadwolf
Sunny Hillride
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super House of the Dead Ninjas
Super Inefficient Golf lovesrayray2018
Super Treasure Arena
SUPERHOT megaman909
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon nebze_14
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising the2ndbestpotato
Tacoma leocflora
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Tannenberg universalpro
Tempest: Pirate Action RPG lord_ewok
Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure
The Banner Saga hotpocketfiesta
The Corporate Machine
The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited hyperbeluga
The Escapists - Base Game nont48
The Escapists 2 fakename381
The Hex lkess
The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut cow_is_love
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Norwood Suite
The Political Machine 2016 uncleguus
The Surge mutsuto
The Town of Light john-333
The Turing Test duck_you_69
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit
Titan Quest: Anniversary Edition + DLC injokerpicker
Tom Clancy's The Division™ Uplay keys can't be shared apparently
Tomb Raider notsofr0sty
Tooth and Tail fl0bber
Tower Unite ogisha626
Unexplored
Uurnog Uurnlimited cookieconqueror
Waking Mars
Wandersong sariseth
War for the Overworld
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War III jords4803
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus ghostwaffle24
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide -3fast-
Warhammer: Vermintide 2 - Collector's Edition sillymajyk
Wasteland 2: Director's Cut - Standard Edition ayystation
We Were Here Too riddickofrivia
Wick nowahb
World's Dawn maksimusvevo
Wurm Unlimited 00mantis00
Xenonauts tedtn72
Yakuza 0 martys127
Yakuza Kiwami asspullcreed
Zenith
Zombie Army Trilogy byrek
Zombie Night Terror
submitted by Gemini_soup to steam_giveaway [link] [comments]


2020.06.16 16:28 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 6

Results: https://www.redditraffler.com/raffles/ha51q8
Stay tuned for Round 7!
Round 6!
There will be another 25 winners. If you won in a previous round, you will not be eligible for this contest. Rule 9 in effect and www.redditraffler.com will be used. You have 36 hours!
Please comment below with your most desired games. If you include 2-5+ games, you’ll likely keep the whole process smooth.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls!
I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now.
I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler.
For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
  • Aaero
  • Absolver
  • Acceleration of SUGURI 2
  • Action Henk
  • Aviary Attorney
  • The Banner Saga
  • Banner Saga 2
  • Battle Chef Brigade
  • Bear With Me - Collector's Edition
  • Beyond Eyes
  • Blackwake
  • Black the Fall
  • BlazBlue: Chronophantasma Extend
  • Bleed 2
  • Brigador: Up-Armored Edition
  • Cook, Serve, Delicious!
  • Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!
  • Copoka
  • Crazy Machines 3
  • Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX)
  • Dandara
  • Darkside Detective
  • Deponia Doomsday
  • Destiny 2 + Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem
  • Devil Daggers
  • The Dwarves
  • The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls (Bethesda key)
  • Elegy for a Dead World
  • Epistory - Typing Chronicles
  • The Escapists - Base Game + Alcatraz DLC + Duct Tapes are Forever DLC + Escape Team DLC + Fhurst Peak DLC
  • The Escapists 2
  • Eterium
  • Event[0]
  • Fidel - Dungeon Rescue
  • Fight'N Rage
  • Figment
  • The Flame in the Flood
  • Flat Heroes
  • Forged Battalion
  • Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
  • GoNNER - Press Jump To Die Edition
  • Gremlins, Inc.
  • H1Z1 + H1Z1 Trickster Crate
  • Hacknet
  • HackyZack
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  • NBA 2K17
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  • Paradigm
  • Pathologic Classic HD
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  • Poi (Steam)
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  • Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
  • Quake Champions Early Access plus 50 Shards, 100 Platinum, 2000 Favor
  • Random Access Murder
  • Rapture Rejects + Rapture Rejects - Humble Exclusive "Safari Outfit" DLC
  • Rebel Galaxy
  • Regions of Ruin
  • RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry
  • Road to Ballhalla
  • Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
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  • RUINER
  • Runestone Keeper
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  • Seven: The Days Long Gone
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  • Stories Untold
  • STRAFE: Millennium Edition
  • Styx: Master of Shadows
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  • Sundered
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  • This is the Police
  • THOTH
  • Tiny Echo
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  • Tumblestone
  • Uurnog Uurnlimited
  • Wargame: Red Dragon
  • Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide + Schluesselschloss DLC + The Outsider DLC
  • War for the Overworld
  • Western Press + Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC
  • Wizard of Legend
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  • Wuppo
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  • Full Metal Furies won by malkrad
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  • Tom Clancy's The Division™ + Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival (Uplay) won by liam775
  • Just Cause 3 XXL Edition won by greenf1re117
  • Mega Man Legacy Collection won by vishalb777
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  • HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON won by crokdent
  • Hollow Knight won by Rinku--
  • Resident Evil Revelations won by Supersonic2407
  • Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition won by Lozt-Zoul
  • Sniper Elite 4 won by galgi333
  • Deus Ex: Mankind Divided won by Mfasula
  • Mafia III + Mafia III: Sign of the Times won by BetterTax
  • Quantum Break won by TheGamerPandA
  • Rivals of Aether won by Deception007
  • Worms W.M.D won by horatiohay
  • Hyper Light Drifter won by meepbunyan
  • Inside won by Arkaduisz
  • The Witness won by safihr77
  • Poly Bridge won by fi-sk
  • The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky won by junkmutt
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  • Sheltered won by Vember_
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  • Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition won by Jekilz
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  • Titan Quest: Anniversary Edition + Titan Quest: Ragnarok DLC won by Turambar29
  • Dead Rising 4 won by MechwolfMachina
  • NBA Playgrounds won by JBWM23
  • Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition won by aCursingSmurf
  • Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War III won by PillarofDeath
  • Dead Rising 2 won by Traviscanfly
  • The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited + ESO Vanity pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 days of ESO Plus (BAM) won by AgreeableAioli4
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  • Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders won by betawax1
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.06.08 12:19 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 5

Results:https://www.redditraffler.com/raffles/gywr2q
I will be busy for the next few days so Round 6 will be delayed.
Round 5!
There will be another 25 winners. If you won in a previous round, you will not be eligible for this contest. Rule 9 in effect and www.redditraffler.com will be used. You have 36 hours!
Please comment below with your most desired games. If you include 2-5 games, you’ll likely keep the whole process smooth.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls! I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now. I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler. For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.06.07 02:29 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 4

Results: https://www.redditraffler.com/raffles/gy2ecn
Look for Round 5 in the morning.
Round 4!
There will be another 25 winners. If you won in a previous round, you will not be eligible for this contest. Rule 9 in effect and www.redditraffler.com will be used. You have 24 hours!
Please comment below with your most desired games and include your favorite dad joke. It won’t help you win, but I’ll probably get some entertainment out of them. There will be 2-3 games going to winners from Round 3 that picked games others claimed. I’m waiting on replies from them and will cross the games off when they pick. If you include 2-5 games, you’ll likely keep the whole process smooth.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls! I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now. I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler. For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.06.06 00:04 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 3

Unfortunately, RedditRaffler's limit is 25. Stay tuned for Round 4! https://www.redditraffler.com/raffles/gxe5ks
Round 3!
There will be 40 winners, so long as I don't fuck it up like last time. If you won in a previous round, you will not be eligible for this contest. Rule 9 in effect and www.redditraffler.com will be used. You have 24 hours!
Please comment below with your most desired games. Due to the number of winners, I see your top pick not being available. Feel free to include something nice you did for someone else recently. It won’t help you win, but I’ll probably get some entertainment out of them.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls! I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now. I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler. For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.06.04 23:39 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 2

https://www.redditraffler.com/raffles/gwqw6v
Guess I fucked this up. Expect more winners next round.
Round 2!
There will be another 15 winners. If you won in a previous round, you will not be eligible for this contest. Rule 9 in effect and www.redditraffler.com will be used. You have 24 hours!
Please comment below with your most desired game(s) and include your favorite pickup line. It won’t help you win, but I’ll probably get some entertainment out of them.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls! I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now. I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler. For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.06.03 01:51 IPopOutOfCakes 150+ Game Giveaway! Round 1

Results:https://www.redditraffler.com/raffles/gvivyh
Round 2 coming soon.
---Original Message---
Hi boys and girls!
I've got a nice long list of (mostly Steam) keys to give away. Most are from the monthly bundles from June 2016 to April 2019. I've already got a huge library on Steam and don't have the time to invest in others right now.
I apologize in advance if a key doesn't work and will put on my best customer service attitude to help make it better. I will also be adhering to Rule 9 as best I can and use RedditRaffler.
For the first round, there will be 15 winners. Subsequent rounds will likely be the same. Please list your most desired game. You have 24 hours.
submitted by IPopOutOfCakes to humblebundles [link] [comments]


2020.05.27 17:22 Imstillrelevant Miss America #5 Da Mystery of Chess Boxin'

The room was large, empty and every surface was white. The fluorescent light bounced off every surface and made it hard to keep your eyes open. The table in front of America Chavez was polished stainless steel and had a single jam donut dusted with powdered sugar on it. America hated powdered sugar and the coffee tasted like it had been sitting in the pot for a couple of days, America refused to drink it on principle. Nick Fury had to have better coffee than this and she would hold out as long as she needed to to get it. The only part that made her feel genuinely unsettled was that the room was completely devoid of sound. America figured that they had been there for the better part of a day and a half after being picked up by Fury and his men, there was no reading of their rights or allegations made but America had resigned herself to the idea that she was under arrest and would probably end up in Guantanamo being photographed in compromising positions.
Veronica Miller sat in her own blank white room and stared at her own sugar encrusted donut and tepid coffee with oil dancing across the top and was unimpressed much to Nick Fury’s chagrin. Veronica hadn’t so much as moved in the last thirty two hours, hadn’t spoken or even looked more than mildly displeased like someone farted in a car and she couldn’t roll down the window.
“She doesn’t seem like she’s gonna crack sir.” Willis spoke softly fearing that Nick Fury was in a slightly worse mood than he usually was. Willis and Fury stood in the room behind the two way mirror and were able to see in both rooms and neither woman seemed like they would be begging to talk.
“No Willis it doesn’t, does it. Make sure these arrests stay off the record and if any of you four so much as mention this to anyone I will have you and every woman you’ve ever slept with put into a camp in North Korea.” Fury showed absolutely no amusement in his voice.
“Why every woman we’ve ever slept with sir?”
“Are you married Willis?”
“Yes sir.”
Fury turned and looked at Willis with what could almost be the beginning of a smile. “Can you imagine the unending hell your life would be if you had your wife and every ex in the same place? Lotta skeletons every man keeps in his closet. Besides Willis you know that’s just hyperbolic bullshit, I can’t sanction the abduction of that many people on American soil.”
Willis looked like he was about to laugh, on a rare occasion Nick Fury could be almost funny.
“Of course I will make sure your family never sees you again if the fact I have these two gets out.”
Willis knew this was most certainly not a joke.
“You and the others take the rest of the day off. Don’t mention the names America Chavez and Veronica Miller to anyone.
“Yes sir.” Willis left the room and wondered why he thought it would be nonstop action and thrills working for Nick Fury instead of constant threats and redacted memos.
Nick Fury finished his coffee which was fresh and a pleasantly nutty French roast. Nick had a dossier with enough pages to fill several volumes about Veronica Miller, he had personally worked with her on several operations. Pieces of this mess had her fingerprints all over it. America Chavez on the other hand could barely fill a post-it note. Riots, murders, and allegations of domestic terrorism. Veronica Miller may not have a clean record but mass actions of violent activity on American soil was certainly not in her wheelhouse. From what he knew about America Chavez he would have assumed everything above assaulting some redneck train-yard workers was beyond the actions of a young superhero.
Nick opened the door to Veronica’s room and leaned across the table.
“I’m very confused Veronica.”
“Well that happens sometimes, don’t feel bad a lot of macho men secretly harbour homoerotic urges. IT kind of makes sense, what with hanging out exclusively with buff young soldiers eager to please.” Veronica laughed, not because she thought she was that funny but because the idea of being one of four or five people who could get away with talking to Nick Fury like that made her feel better than she has in weeks.
“Cute.” Nick dropped the dossier on the table in front of her.
“Still keeping tabs on your old body baggers huh? You want to know what the hell happened in Detroit, right?”
“I have a clear idea, but I don’t know all the pieces. I know they killed your boy, blew bits of him all over the place to make it look like a reactionary suicide bombing, I know you went to the guys house that flipped the switch and I know he ended up dead.”
Veronica leaned forward, now unsure of why she was being held here instead of in a jail cell. “Then what else is there to know?”
“I know you didn’t kill him, obviously, it’s been all over the internet news...stations? Channels? Whatever you want to call them there’s irrefutable proof that Miss Chavez killed him. What I want to know is who was he, that bomb was pro, that plan was pro, the whole thing played out like a hit from ISIS, not some cousin screwing nazi inbred.” Nick was getting heated, he didn’t like not being in the know.
“Ask America, she has something that could answer that, evidence and God knows what else.”
Nick looked at her and could tell she was serious. Nick turned and left the room.
“I’ll wait here, I don’t suppose you have any magazines or anything?”
Nick Fury did not respond, nor did he have to turn around to see that Veronica was smirking. It was a rare and wonderful thing to get under Nick Fury’s skin.
“Miss Chavez my name is Nick Fury.” Nick had timed this perfectly so that he was speaking as soon as the door was open enough for him to walk into and finished just as he leaned over the table to look deep into America Chavez’s eyes.
Veronica could imagine what was happening in the other room and could further imagine that Nick Fury was going to finally meet someone as infuriating to talk to as he was. There had been no contact with anyone else the moment they were taken out of the old farmhouse by Fury and his men, no one said anything as they flew away with the house blazing in the background erasing all evidence that they’d ever been there. That was good because it meant Fury was going to have them outside the SHIELD system. Even SHIELD detainees have to be read their rights. Fury had picked up Veronica in a rather similar fashion the first time they met, of course Veronica was on the other side of the law but aren’t all the best top secret operatives found on the more criminal side of things? Fury was younger then, he had hair and the swagger of a young man who thinks he’s the hottest shit in the world, though there may have been some truth to that last bit in Veronica’s eyes. He seemed to have grown colder in between the times they saw each other last, his voice was harder, his demeanor was callous, and perhaps if he hadn’t known Veronica he could have even been cruel.
Hours passed and Veronica finally broke and ate the donut, it wasn’t as bad as she was expecting but it made her teeth feel gritty and unpleasant, the tepid coffee did nothing to fix that. Veronica was busy trying to get a stray piece of sugar from the back of her mouth when two guards came in and led her from the room. The hallway was similar and blindingly bright, she noticed the guards had tinted visors on their helmets. Veronica was led into another room, this one was clearly used for mission briefings and meetings. It was a normal enough looking room and the lack blinding white light made Veronica’s migraine dissipate slightly. Sitting at a table drinking coffee fresh enough to have steam rising from it sat America Chavez.
“You talk some sense into Fury?”
America was chewing something but there was no evidence of what was in her mouth on her now empty plate. “Eventually, damn does that guy like to talk. He went on and on and on about duty and some crap about protecting from the shadows. To be honest I couldn’t pay attention for most of it, I was distracted. He wears a turtleneck. I thought Nick Fury was supposed to be cool.”
Veronica laughed. “Shaft wore a turtleneck! They can be cool.”
“Shaft was lame, it’s all about Dolemite.”
It felt good to laugh, even if it was in the middle of an out of the frying pan and into the fire situation. The room was wide and empty, there were several rows of tables and chairs and a projector screen on the far side of the wall. Nick Fury walked in shortly after Veronica had finished wondering whether or not SHIELD still used slide projectors or if Nick Fury just hated change that much.
“You two have stepped in it big time, and this flash drive right here proves nothing except for the fact that Allen Crane was a white trash neo nazi. Unfortunately that ain’t exactly illegal. Hell drive through the deep south you’ll see swastikas and the confederate battle flag in the same lawn. There’s no proof that he killed your son Veronica.” Fury tossed the thumb drive onto the table in front of them.
“But-” America started.
“I’m not finished Miss Chavez. What does have some truth to it is that Crane was working with someone and after pouring over some date and a few feeds from Detroit I think I have an idea of what is going on. Hell I may even agree with you that something needs to be done. The only problem is that this isn’t really caped crusader stuff. This is the sort of thing SHIELD would take care of IF there was enough evidence for a case, which there is not.”
America leaned back in her chair ready to start yelling, Veronica prevented this by patting her shoulder softly.
“We do have one option. An off the books operation. Pure black ops. You would have no connection to me, no connection to SHIELD and if you got caught or slipped up in the field you would have no assistance.”
“That seems like a pretty bad deal.” America had heard enough.
“Well it does come with some perks Miss Chavez, like info on where you can acquire funds, weapons, anything you need. It’s not like you can stroll into an S-Mart and start filling up your shopping cart with unlisted guns and cars with no VIN numbers. Black Ops do require a small bit of discretion and a lot of redacted data.”
“What are you thinking Nick?” Veronica was growing tired of the cloak and dagger prime time tv spry show he was putting on in an attempt to impress America.
“I’m thinking I scratch your back, you scratch mine. You don’t need to know more than that. You play ball I can see to it that your records are clean when this whole thing is finished.”
America seems taken aback by this. “This seems shady.”
Veronica laughs. “Welcome to SHIELD.”
Nick Fury takes a manilla file folder out from under his arm and tosses it in front of the two women. “You’ll need money, of course I can’t fund this so you’re on your own. However this particular little skidmark of a human being has been getting under my skin for some time and as of yet SHIELD has not been able to do anything about it. Bastard’s got connections here so he’s untouchable since he’s not deemed a high enough threat.”
Veronica flipped open the folder, in it are several papers and a dozen pictures and a few maps. The pictures are of a chubby redheaded man in his early twenties. In every photo he’s wearing some pricey streetwear brands and posing with beautiful women and expensive cars.
“Calls himself King Crimson, he’s a mutant running a rather successful drug ring out of East St. Louis.”
Veronica’s surprise at this information is not well hidden. “Him? The poster child for upper middle class white boy douche bag is operating out of East St. Louis?”
“Monty Dewinter is a mutant, his skin contains hallucinogenic qualities. Remember all those myths in the eighties about licking toads and having an LSD trip? Well with him it’s true except he’s feeding people his dandruff and eczema.”
“That’s incredibly disgusting.”
“It is Miss Chavez but it’s also potent and he has a legion of dedicated thugs and addicts that all make their home in an old mansion on the North side. We’ve never got anyone on the inside, he’s paranoid and gets high on his own supply. I’ve made an attempt before to get someone in and take care of him but it didn’t work out.”
“What makes you think we can do it Nick?” Veronica was starting to think this may be over her head a bit. She was an experienced killer and field agent but usually against Banana republic Dictators or crime bosses that were old and fat.
“You two don’t really have a choice. If you want to go after whoever Crane was working with this is step one. You do this for me you not only get to fund your private war but you also get whatever info I can dig up to help you.”
America picked up the picture and looked at it frowning at the chubby eczema covered face in nineties era bling jewellery. “He looks like a bitch.”
“We’re in.” Veronica was not sure about this alliance, Nick Fury always had another hand hidden up his sleeve.”
Nick Fury gathered up the intel and put it back into the folder. “Good. We’ll get you outfitted in some union blacks, get you a car and a drop off. Ever do a plane jump in a car Miss Chavez?”
America shook her head.
“I wouldn’t eat much then until you’re on the ground, they tend to spin around a lot in the air.” Nick Fury turned and started to walk out the room.
“What kind of car is it Nick?”
“What kind do you want Miss Miller?”
“Something fast, hard top, no miles.”
Nick Fury nodded his head taking the info in and filing it away mentally. “I’ll see what I can do. Suit up you two, your plane leaves in an hour, you’ll be dropped about three hours south of Chicago, nothing there but two lane highway.”
America perked up when she realised everything that just happened. America Chavez was working for Nick Fury.
America and Veronica boarded the back of the cargo plane and Veronica took one look at the car they would be using. It was a hard top, it wasn’t very fast and if it had no miles it would be because it had no damn engine at all. It was a small two door Geo in faded lemon yellow. Proof that Nick Fury had a sense of humour.
“God dammit Nick.” Veronica opened the car door and got in, motioning for America to enter on the other side.
“I thought spies got to drive cool cars, isn’t that the whole point of being a spy?” America was trying to figure out the four point racing harness in the seat. The car may have looked like a normal POS but it did have the out-fittings that made it possible to drive the car out of an airplane and have it not be a suicide mission. The canvas bag on the hood and top of the car hopefully contained parachutes.
“We’re not spies America, we’re Nick Fury’s dirty little secrets that are going to probably get killed and then buried in an unmarked grave. Ever hear of the second Thunderbolts team?”
“No.” America shook her head, though honestly she had only the faintest memory of having heard of the first Thunderbolts team.
“Exactly. Black ops means if we get caught or killed in action Nick Fury can deny everything and keep his job.”
“Damn, I feel like we’re being played.”
“Welcome to the world of espionage America, hope you survive the experience.” Veronica handed America a vomit bag and took one herself.
Five hours later they were over their drop zone and America and Veronica had the green light to go. The bay door was down and the electronic clamps holding the car in place were let loose. Veronica started the tiny banana coloured Geo and let the car coast in neutral until it dropped out of the plane. America was certain she wouldn’t need the vomit bag until the car was actually out of the plane and immediately started turning around in circles with no sense of which way was up. When she looked out the window and saw the ground above her head she knew that was a mistake. America pressed the vomit bag to her face and tasted the donut she’d had this morning. A similar sound was coming from Veronica and the world continued to spin out of control.
When the car finally landed America was still getting her legs back and Veronica had left the car to unhook the parachutes from the roof. In the rearview mirror America watched as Veronica piled up the evidence of their landing and took a gas can out of the trunk and emptied it into the pile of canvas and lit it. Veronica re-entered the car and drove off towards the unlit two lane highway in the direction of East St. Louis.
“That was painful.” America was still catching her breath and occasionally dry heaving.
“That was nothing, you should have seen this guy I knew when he barfed in his helmet during a Halo jump.”
“What happened to him?”
“He choked to death on regurgitated taco.” This sentence created an awkward silence and America was hoping this was a joke Veronica was making in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Drink this.” Veronica handed America a bottle of water and opened one for herself.
“How long before we get to East St. Louis?”
“Couple hours, you should get some rest if you want it. I can’t imagine this is going to be a quiet op. Drug dealers never go quietly. We’ll get there and scope out the joint first and see what exactly the layout is, then decide on our course of action.”
America looked out at the endless sea of black, there was no light pollution but it was cloudy and overcast making everything look dark and claustrophobic. “How long did you do this sort of thing for?”
This question took Veronica by surprise, she figured it would come up sooner or later but not as such a direct line of questioning. “I did this for about twenty years. I signed up for the military as soon as I turned eighteen and got into the special forces. I guess I showed the right qualities for higher classification of work because soon enough by the time I was twenty five I was operating around the world for SHIELD. “
America listened and tried to imagine a young Veronica running around the jungle like Pam Grier dressed as John Rambo. “Why did you settle in Detroit then?”
“After I got pregnant I was relegated to information services, desk job kind of thing and Detroit was where I grew up. I always knew I wanted to go back. It’s an amazing city in spite of its flaws and I don’t know, I guess I always envisioned myself being able to save a small part of it. Do some good you know?”
The car was silent for some time as America thought about how clean and clear Veronica’s sense of purpose seemed to be. America had never felt anything like that before and certainly couldn’t picture herself wanting to return to her home, even if she could save it.
“Get some shut eye America, I’ll wake you when we’re there.”
America woke just after dawn and they were driving through the outskirts of East St. Louis along the Mississippi river. The city looked more like the set of a Toxic Avenger movie than somewhere people lived. Buildings falling in on themselves, old factories being retaken by nature, even the streets themselves seemed to be forgotten as plant life made easy homes in the mile wide cracks in the road.
“We’re about fifteen minutes away, I was going to stop and get a coffee. You want one?”
America nodded and wiped the sleep from her eyes. Veronica pulled the car into the parking lot of a gas station that looked like it hadn’t been in service for a decade. Out front there was an emaciated older black man with white stained lips muttering to himself as he walked back and forth. Veronica walked past him and he looked for a moment like he was going to ask her for some change but decided in the end there was no point. Each and every building that America could see looked like it was falling apart at the seams and every window had a set of rusted bars on it protecting the broken windows from further attacks. Across the street there was an abandoned car on cinder blocks that looked like it had recently been set on fire.
Veronica returned with the coffees and handed America both of them. “Hold mine for a sec will you, I don’t trust these cup holders.” Veronica started the car and they drove off continuing down the road towards the heart of the city. Each block they passed looked like the one before it, occasionally there were people milling about but they didn’t seem like they were going anywhere in particular.
Veronica and America arrived at the mansion and parked the car several streets down from it. In the trunk were two silenced pistols and some ratty clothes. Veronica handed America one of the outfits and kept both guns for herself, tucking them into the front of her pants before donning her own set of ratty stained clothes. America smelled her new coat which turned out to be a big mistake.
“Why the hell are we wearing hobo outfits that seem to have been worn by actual hobos?”
“Because we can’t stroll up there in black pants, black shirt, black shoes and expect them to let us in. Would you let us in wearing an outfit that announces Hey we’re here to take y’all out?”
“I wouldn’t let us in wearing piss stained coats.” America considered this to be a reasonable argument.
“Then you’ve never been to a crack house. We look like their best customers.”
The house that stood before them was an old dilapidated Victorian that stood out as an anachronism amidst the urban blight. The paint was peeling and the grass in the front law was long since dead. For Veronica this house was a reminder of what can happen when law and order leave a city, it looked like the worst parts of Detroit. Veronica was looking forward to putting an end to whatever dark dealings went on in this house. Watching it go up in flames by nightfall would put a smile on her face.
submitted by Imstillrelevant to MarvelsNCU [link] [comments]


2020.05.06 00:25 anon3212 [SCAMMER ] /u/RedneckRat Do NOT reply to this user

RedneckRat is still lurking here despite being banned and has been direct messaging people selling shoes via cashapp and zelle.
Do NOT respond to /u/RedneckRat
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submitted by anon3212 to sneakermarket [link] [comments]


2020.05.05 17:57 Mel0n_Collie [OC] What if every world cup team had the same population? - Group G

Afternoon all, welcome back to the series that Gary Neville described as ‘How did you get this number, no I don’t know what you’re on about, piss off’. So far I’ve brought to life the teams of 24 hypothetical regions, that’s an entire Euro 2020’s worth! hmm that gives me an idea...
Before I begin separating the counties of Estonia, let’s stay focused and remind ourselves of how we got this far.
Group A, Group B, Group C, Group D, Group E, Group F,
Today’s post details the squads of the tournament’s penultimate group. Whilst this pool of players isn’t the greatest, they will be playing in front of the most participant sets of fans. Mexican waves meet Vuvuzelas in the battle for top spot while the other two’s wavin flags will look like this.
Southern Africa
South Africa, Lesotho, Eswantini, Mauritius, Reuinion, Comoros, Seychelles, Madagascar, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Namibia, Zambia, Angola, Tanzania
Population (millions): 255.34
The part of the world that brought us the only African world cup to date (and some other less wholesome moments in history), this southern hemispheric subcontinent has underachieved in modern memory.
The region is a mix of engrossed and apathetic when it comes to footballing subscription in the public consciousness, with four of the top seven African GDP’s per capita, their resources should theoretically be better than anyones. Just four World Cup qualifications (one of those by default) makes this the second least punctual region of the continent.
Lusophone’s Angola are the exception to an otherwise South African sweep of appearances. The ‘Giant sable antelopes’ (I’m sure it sounds better in portuguese) shocked the CAF by toppling Nigeria by the narrowest of margins to reach the 2006 finals; the nation’s top scorer and Barbie Girl singing eurodance group Akwá was the protagonist in a 1-0 win against the Super Eagles, this retrospectively acted as a tie-breaker when David & Goliath finished with the same points in their qualifying group. Their time in Germany was short yet respectable, conceding just two goals in three games and almost holding their colonisers Portugal to a bore draw, revenge is sweet.
A rugby nation by trade, South Africa were crowned World Cup champions just last year, unfortunately for soccer fans they have flattered to deceive in the world’s most beloved game. A ‘golden generation’ in 2002 featured the coloured careers of Steven Pienaar, Benni McCarthy, Lucas Radebe and Quinton Fortune; failing to escape an easy group, a huge opportunity missed. 18 years on Bafana Bafana’s only big names are of a literal sense.
Contrary to what I would have guessed, South Africa is not the regions most populous nation; Tanzania’s 56 million inhabitants puts them level with England, and the nation seem to identify as footyholics as much as their historic oppressors, unfortunately they haven’t got their money's worth for their sporting subscription.
The tiny island of reunion has produced the likes of Dimitri Payet and Laurent Robert, but since still being a French territory, anyone worth their salt gets a plane to Paris.
Botswana fail to feature in the squad, but with top clubs called ‘Meat Commision’ and ‘Miscellaneous’, it might be safe to say the nation isn’t taking the game as seriously as others.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Itumeleng Khune RSA Kaiser Chiefs GK Ventersdorp 67 €0.47 32
Darren Keet RSA OH Leuven GK Cape Town 58 €0.80 30
Defenders
Bastos ANG Lazio CB Luanda 70 €12.70 28
Mexer MOZ Bordeaux CB Maputo 65 €4.50 32
Clinton Mata ANG Club Brugge CB Verviers 63 €7.70 28
Jeremy Morel MAD Rennais CB Lorient, France 63 €0.30 35
Bruno Gaspar ANG Olympiakos RB Evora, Portugal 60 €1.70 26
Romain Metanire MAD Minnesota RB Metz, France 60 €3.30 30
Reinildo MOZ Lille LB Beira 54 €0.75 26
Nurio ANG Charleroi LB Luanda 60 €3.60 25
Midfielders
Wilson Eduardo ANG Braga RW Pedras Rubras 66 €5.90 30
Percy Tau RSA Club Brugge RW Witbank 65 €17.60 25
Marvelous Nakamba ZIM Aston Villa CDM Hwange 64 €14.00 26
Khama Billiat ZIM Kaiser Chiefs RW Harare 66 €0.50 30
Thulani Serero RSA Al Jazira CDM Soweto 61 €4.90 30
Keagan Dolly RSA Montpellier CAM Johannesburg 62 €3.70 27
Bongani Zungu RSA Amiens CM Duduza 64 €4.80 27
Djalma ANG Alanyaspor LM Luanda 60 €1.10 32
Forwards
Mbwana Ally Samatta TAN Aston Villa ST Dar Es Salaam 66 €19.90 27
Patson Daka ZAM RB Salzburg ST Chingola 64 €2.60 21
Lebo Mothiba RSA Strasbourg ST Johannesburg 62 €3.70 24
Tinotenda Kadewere ZIM Lyon ST Harare 62 €3.70 24
Averages/Totals 63 €118.22 28
On paper the team shouldn’t need to rely on talismanic powers as the middling quality runs true throughout this team. Aston Villa surely have a scout in this part of the world as they are blessed with the services of key players Marvellous Nakamba and Mbwana Samatta.
Samatta became the Premier League’s first Tanzanian in January and will hopefully have a chance to add to his three appearances sooner rather than later. The imposing frontman scored 23 goals in the Belgian league in 2018-19 which makes him almost over qualified to lead the line in this XI.
Patson Daka was 13 and playing for locals Nchanga Rangers when Zambia sensationally shocked the world to lift the 2012 AFCON; the goldenboy of a generation determined to sequel the Copper Bullets’ success. The speedy Salzburg striker already has 24 caps for his country, time will tell if he is to follow Haaland and Minamino out of Austria to a European giant.
Mononymous Angolan Bastos will command the defence as best he can. Although recently struggling to make the squad, Bastos has served Lazio well with his protective prowess.
A plethora of pacey playmakers completes the assembly that will most likely finish runners up in this group. An exit in the round of 16 is on the cards as by process of elimination lots of you have already worked out Group H’s heavyweights are North & Central Europe.
West India
3 Indian States (Maharashtra, Gujurat, Madhya Pradesh)
Population (millions)
All the way back to the simpler time of Group A I hastily declared Uttar Pradesh as the worst region in the world, I’d like to publicly apologize for that remark as it’s become clear to me that West India is the bottom of a very deep barrell.
The region that provides the setting for Slumdog Millionaire has plenty to answer for as finding 22 players in this part of the world was harder than a where's wally of Manish market.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Kunal Sawant IND Mumbai City GK Maharashtra 16 €0.01 28
Sukhdev Patil IND Churchill Brothers GK Maharashtra 14 €0.00 21
Defenders
Rahul Bheke IND Bengaluru RB Maharashtra 33 €0.03 29
Ashutosh Mehta IND Mohun Bagan RB Gujurat 22 €0.02 28
Raju Galkwad IND Kerala Blasters CB Maharashtra 21 €0.01 29
Jayesh Rane IND ATK RB Maharashtra 21 €0.01 27
Abhishek Ambekar IND East Bengal LB Maharashtra 20 €0.01 28
Rohan Adnaik IND DSK Shivajians CB Maharashtra 13 €0.00 28
Karan Amin IND Jamshedpur LB Maharashtra 13 €0.01 30
Pratik Chaudhuri IND Mumbai City CB Maharashtra 18 €0.01 30
Midfielders
Raynier Fernandes IND Mumbai City CDM Maharashtra 26 €0.02 24
Farukh Choudhary IND Jamshedpur CAM Maharashtra 25 €0.02 23
Kean Lewis IND Bengaluru LM Maharashtra 21 €0.01 27
Alwyn George IND Minerva Punjab CM Maharashtra 20 €0.01 28
Shilton D'Silva IND Mohun Bagun CM Maharashtra 19 €0.01 27
Aditya Ashok Jha IND ARA fc LW Gujarat 11 €0.01 20
Nikhil Kadam IND Northeast United RW Maharashtra 17 €0.01 25
Darren Caldeira IND Kerala Blasters CM Maharashtra 17 €0.01 32
Forwards
Aniket Jadhav IND Jamshedpur CF Maharashtra 16 €0.01 19
Arif Shaikh IND Gokulam ST Maharashtra 13 €0.01 26
Bipin Singh IND Mumbai ST Maharashtra 17 €0.01 25
Girik Khosla IND Minerva Punjab ST Maharashtra 17 €0.01 25
Averages/Totals 19 0.25
With 8 caps for the national team, Rahul Bheke is made to look like prime Cafu alongside his defensive compatriots. The Bengaluru full back plays a leading role in a one-star Bollywood show.
Aniket Jadnav is maybe the one to keep an eye on, the wide forward failed trials at Blackburn late last year, but the fact that they even asked him makes this teenage talent the side’s crappy Mbappe.
A Bombay mix of unknowns will be thankful they haven’t drawn against the real heavyweights of the competition, or they could be on the end of a cricket score.
Mexico & Central US
Mexico, 16 US States (Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Colorado, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois)
Population (millions): 244.75
The big wall will have to wait as this side leaves rednecks turning in their trailers. The region has fathered two point three tournaments with one on the way, but the main feature of this team always seems to leave the party early when it’s not at their house.
Mexico have been excruciatingly expelled in the second round an eye-watering SEVEN times running, the sombrero wearing soccer obsessed Senior’s are so frequently the bridesmaid it’s no exaggeration to call them football’s spinsters.
The US’s largest state, Texas, is the birthplace of one of America’s greatest players and worst rappers, Clint Dempsey. His impressive club career was an MLS sandwich with a London filling, the posterboy of a Fulham team that miraculously reached the Europa league final. Romantically tied with fellow yank legend Landon Donovan, Dempsey retired joint top scorer for USMNT, including four goals in three seperate world cups.
Mexican legends of the game include Hugo Sanchez, who scored over 200 goals for Real Madrid, and Barcelona treble winner Rafael Marquez who incredibly played 19 games across five World Cups, considering they never manage more than four, that’s almost as good as it gets.
Today El Tri are seemingly at the beginning of a promising Mexican generation that coincides with some notable late bloomers.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Guillermo Ochoa MEX America GK Guadalajara 71 €4.20 34
Jonathan Orozco MEX Santos Laguna GK Monterry 68 €2.90 33
Defenders
Jesus Corona MEX Porto RB Sonora 72 €23.00 26
John Brooks USA Wolfsburg CB Berlin 67 €7.10 26
Hector Moreno MEX Al Gharafa CB Sinaloa 68 €6.10 31
Carlos Salcedo MEX Tigres CB Guadalajara 68 €5.70 25
Nestor Aruajo MEX Celta Vigo CB Guadalajara 70 €15.80 26
Hugo Ayala MEX Tigres CB Michoacan 68 €2.70 32
Miguel Layun MEX Monterrey RB Veracruz 66 €3.80 31
Jorge Sanchez MEX America LB Coahuila 63 €2.30 21
Midfielders
Isaac Brizuela MEX Chivas RM California 64 €4.40 29
Hector Herrera MEX Atleti CM Tijuana 75 €33.40 29
Hirving Lozano MEX Napoli RW Mexico City 75 €27.70 24
Victor Guzman MEX Pachua CM Guadalajara 66 €4.20 24
Andres Guardado MEX Real Betis CM Guadalajara 71 €9.20 32
Jonathan Dos Santos MEX LA Galaxy CM Monterry 70 €5.60 29
Rodolfo Pizarro MEX Miami FC CAM Tamulipas 72 €4.40 25
Edson Alvarez MEX Ajax CDM State of Mexico 70 €8.10 21
Forwards
Raul Jimenez MEX Wolves ST Hidalgo 74 €39.00 28
Javier Hernandez MEX LA Galaxy ST Guadalajara 66 €4.10 31
Gio Dos Santos MEX America CF Monterry 64 €2.20 30
Carlos Vela MEX LAFC LF Quintana Roo 75 €6.30 30
Averages/Totals 69 €222.20 28.04545455
One of the more mundane concoctions, it’s plain to see that Johnathan Brooks is the only ‘American’ to dare cross the border. The centre back scored a winner against Ghana in 2014 avenging the defeat of 2010.
After struggling badly at Atleti and then Benfica, it’s an unlikely story that aged 27 Raul signed for Wolves and has since become one of the Premier Leagues most feared strikers. The nation is hoping to harness whatever time he’ll be able to stay at this level, having scored five goals in a winning Gold Cup campaign.
Eredivisie fans will be familiar with Guardado and Alvarez, the bookends of a variety of age groups in the middle of the park.
‘Chucky’ Lozano is the posterboy, the Napoli winger scored the only goal in an historic victory over 2014 champions Germany. At just 24, it shouldn’t be of too much concern that he is competing to become a regular amongst fierce Neopolitan competition.
As usual, perhaps North-America’s best bet for success. They should win this group, but with the second round curse yet to be broken, maybe another John Brooks goal is needed to make the quarters.
Greater Beijing
7 Chinese provinces (Beijing, Hebei, Heilongjiang, Inner Mongolia, Jilin, Liaoning, Tianjin)
Population (millions): 246.63
The capital with plenty of capital, Beijing is the focal point of a Chinese region that stands the best chance of all it’s countryfolk. The region boasts half of the national team’s top ten appearance makers.
Liaoning is the most vibrant reserve of Chinese talent, defender Sun Jihai is often revered as the country's greatest player with 127 premier league appearances for Man City, after years of battling relegation his departure came just one month before the Abu Dhabi group took over, a cautious tale of what happens when you let cookies decide your fortune.
Domestic football is rife in the region with six of 16 CSL teams, including Beijing Guoan, who pay for the services of Cedric Bakambu and Renato Augusto.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Liu Dianzuo CHN Guangzhou E GK Liaoning 47 €1.90 29
Wang Dalei CHN Shandong Luneng GK Liaoning 53 €3.70 31
Defenders
Nico Yennaris CHN Beijing Guoan RB London 59 €10.40 26
Li Xuepeng CHN Guangzhou E LB Liaoning 51 €3.40 32
Wang Tong CHN Shandong Luneng RB Liaoning 50 €3.20 27
Liu Yiming CHN Guangzhou E CB Liaoning 49 €3.40 25
Dai Lin CHN Shandong Luneng CB Liaoning 49 €2.00 32
Feng Xiaoting CHN Guangzhou E CB Liaoning 48 €1.10 35
Gao Zhunyi CHN Guangzhou E CB Jilin 48 €3.50 25
Ren Hang CHN Hebei C Fortune CB Liaoning 48 €2.40 31
Midfielders
Wu Xi CHN Jiangsu Suning CDM Hebei 53 €4.40 31
Yu Hanchao CHN Free Agent RM Liaoning 53 €2.50 33
Chi Zhongguo CHN Beijing Guoan CDM Jilin 52 €4.60 30
Zheng Zhi CHN Guangzhou E CM Liaoning 52 €0.48 40
Zhang Chengdong CHN Hebei C Fortune RM Hebei 50 €3.20 31
Jin Jingdao CHN Shandong Luneng CM Jilin 47 €2.60 28
Piao Cheng CHN Beijing Guoan CM Jilin 47 €3.20 31
Yin Hongbo CHN Hebei C Fortune CAM Jilin 47 €2.70 30
Forwards
Dong Xuesheng CHN Hebei C Fortune ST Liaoning 49 €3.50 31
Yang Xu CHN Tianjin ST Liaoning 47 €3.00 32
Tan Long CHN Changchun Yatai ST Liaoning 47 €3.00 32
Wu Xinghan CHN Shandong Luneng ST Liaoning 46 €2.40 32
Average/Totals 50 €70.58 30.81818182
Ex-Celtic and Charlton midfielder Zheng Zhi has 108 national caps and counting, still wearing the arm-band at 39 years old. An industrious and efficient playstyle combined with terrific passing range lends itself to still being able to compete at such a late age, although he will require the leg work of fellow 30-somethings Wu Xi and Chi Zhonguo if moves can be made.
Born in London, Nico Yennaris or ‘Li Ke’ was the first ever naturalised Chinese player, the former Arsenal youth and Brentford stalwart is hoping to become a trailblazer to the development of Asian football.
It isn’t an absolute certainty that this team will come third, but beating Southern Africa will be key, in a group of subjectively low quality, China’s best team is maybe their only hope.
Emotional times as tomorrow brings the final group, by this point it should be obvious who’s left.
See you all in the comments to discover what I’ve got wrong today (I will comb through the whole thing with your suggestions once this is done).
submitted by Mel0n_Collie to soccer [link] [comments]


2020.05.05 03:15 -figger_naggot- I Broke Into An Abandoned Chuck E. Cheese Except I Rewrote The Ending

The original story belongs to Rhonnie14. If rhonnie doesn’t approve of this, feel free to take it down. Hope you all enjoy my take of the ending!
College was supposed to be more fun. Especially considering how lame high school was for a quiet geek like me. These were supposed to be the best years of my life. But so far, they'd been far from it. I was twenty-one when I transferred to Columbus State University. My family was from Cusseta so I'd been to Columbus, Georgia numerous times over the years. Only now I was on my own in a campus apartment. And unlike Cusseta, Columbus was a big city. A sprawling map of clubs, bars, and restaurants. But I didn't make it out to these places very much. I didn't socialize with anyone really. No, I was still the shy movie geek from Cusseta High. Still Kyle Pleasance, ladies and gentlemen. 2015 wasn't shaping up to be any better than my previous three years of on-line classes. I was still alienated and awkward. Attractive without being hot, lanky without being tall. Maybe I could've done more with my unkempt and frustratingly-straight brown hair. Or wore colored contacts for these brown eyes. Or fuck it, just somehow change my bony face to chiseled perfection. Then again, maybe some fashion sense aside from constant cargo shorts and bland tees would've helped me attract women...
But at school, I was lost in the sea of way hotter dudes and jocks. Girls only seemed to get weirded the fuck out when I tried to approach them. Hell, so did the guys I was just trying to start a bromance with... I guess the movies had educated me wrong about human interaction after all. I spent all my nights in the tiny apartment. Beer and Turner Classic Movies my only companions. Deep down, I missed home. I missed mom and dad at least. In a world of no friends or girlfriends, I still had them. You know, someone to watch TCM with. I guess I was too much of an old soul for 2015. I did find some ways to entertain myself. Call it urban exploration to be classy or ghost hunting to be crass, but I had an interest in the paranormal. Particularly local legends and haunted locations. My hobby took me all over Columbus. There was Crybaby Bridge and the riverwalk said to be haunted by the ghosts of Civil War soldiers. I may have never seen anything too crazy, but the heightened beer buzz certainly fueled my adrenaline. But the Mona Lisa of my Kyle Pleasance Project had to be an abandoned Chuck E. Cheese on Macon Road. Like a shunned stepchild, the large building was the lone defunct property in one of Columbus's nicer strip malls. Okay, so maybe the treasured kiddie attraction wasn't an elaborate haunted house, but I had fond memories of this place. My parents used to take me there as a kid. All the way up until 2002 when it closed. I still had nostalgia for the Chuckster. Even if I knew there was no way I could ever explore this museum of memories. The heavy chains wrapped around its front doors made that all too clear...
But there was still something so strange about this particular playland. Even through the darkness, I could still make out the old games and displays. The graveyard of a 90s arcade. And amongst the clutter, I could even still see a tall Chuck E. animatronic behind the main counter. The playful Chuck you'd see on all the logos back in the day. In his patented purple shirt and cap. Not to mention those puke-green shorts. Curiosity got the better of me. Rather than attending parties or going out on dates, I'd hole up in my apartment and research a fucking defunct Chuck E. Cheese's. I knew these stores came and went so probably nothing too mysterious happened. But still, why'd the company leave all their shit behind? And why had no one purchased the decent location? Through my Google investigations, I found out the Macon Road Chuck didn't close for bankruptcy. Apparently, Muscogee County forced them to shut down. All due to a series of weird accidents and "malfunctions" no one in the Columbus press bothered to disclose. Sure, there were allusions to failed inspections and out-of-date equipment... but no mention of anything that would warrant such a sudden shutdown. No mention of any serious injuries either. Instead, the "real reason" became a riddle... and one I couldn't help but think about. Constantly. Of course, inevitable rumors ran wild on-line: the Macon Road Chuck E. Cheese was haunted! Not that I was surprised. After all, a closed Chuck E. Cheese's with its animatronics and games still intact was like a ghost town fueled by childhood nightmares. My only issue was I had no way of getting in. I didn't have any friends in Columbus who knew more about this mystery. Not until I met P.J., that is. P.J. was actually the one who approached me. Like a curious fan, she ambushed me in the college library. Right at the island of computers I usually occupied by myself. Rather than fulfilling a fantasy of being the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, P.J. embodied that cliche with a rugged toughness. I could tell she was street-wise and didn't give a damn about having perfect make-up, being an anorexic model, or keeping her hair fixed. P.J. was wild... thankfully more Lisbeth Salander than Zooey Deschanel. She was herself. From the short black hair embellished by a perfect emo swoop to pale skin that hadn't seen sunlight in years. Hell, she even dressed worse than me. Always black jeans and grungy hoodies... I'd never seen P.J. around before. She was pretty in an unconventional way. Like me I suppose. But instead of possessing my awkwardness, P.J. was a friendly and charming twenty-one-year-old. Over the next few weeks, we'd meet up at the library. We'd go out to the movies. Go to all the weirdass places around here. Even though she didn't drink as much as me, we'd sometimes just chill in my apartment. She lived in a dorm on campus, so we were never too far apart. The feeling of actually having someone to share adventures with was so... nice. Refreshing. I guess I'd just gotten so used to the isolation, I forgot how much fun it was to have a friend. We were two weirdos enjoying our youth. And as much as I'd have liked to become more, we stayed friends for the most part. Okay, so my gaydar skills were about as pathetic as my people skills. I think P.J. must've known that from the start which is why she didn't freak out when I attempted to tell her how much I liked her and wanted to date. That being said, P.J. referred to herself as "mostly gay." So there were some drunken nights where things got a little frisky. And P.J. always made the first move. We'd make out and feel on one another. She'd have me send her pics once in a while. Never anything crazy like you see in the college movies. I guess I just got the vibe P.J. suffered from the same loneliness and self-esteem issues I did. Call it allied alienation. After my twenty-second Birthday in January, I finally got around to asking P.J. more about the Macon Road Chuck E. Cheese's. Of course, we'd discussed it before. P.J. knew how much that place was the Treasure Island for my urban investigations. My dream destination. P.J. had even told me she had a key for Chuck E. Cheese's back entrance. Apparently, quite a few Columbus State adventurers did... Like me, P.J. had grown up with that Macon Road fortress. In fact, her and her brother Justin used to go there every weekend. P.J. even showed me one of the pictures they took at a Chuck E. Cheese photo machine back in the late 90s. Her brother had long blonde hair and a goofy smile. A mini-surfer boy. But on a drunken Friday night, I pressed P.J. for more info. At the time, we were bored and sharing a twelve-pack on my couch. And deep down, I was hoping she could tell me more about what caused the once-mighty mouse to fall.
P.J. gave me a sardonic smile. "You really like that Chuck E. Cheese's, huh?" Holding my longneck, I leaned back on the sofa. "I don't know. I mean is it really haunted?" P.J. nodded. "I like to think so."
"So like what happens?"
Like a professor ready to lecture, P.J. lowered my beer. "It's never anything too weird,"
"Not like Five Nights At Freddy's?" I quipped.
"No," she said with a laugh. "Nothing like that or any of those creepypastas." Lost in her reflection, she looked down at an empty beer bottle standing on the ground. "I just get a weird feeling there. Like everything's the same but warped and twisted, you know." She faced me. "Like the Chuck E. Cheese spirit is still trapped inside." I took a restless sip. "Well, what really happened? Why'd they close it down?"
In a nervous rhythm, P.J. ran her hands along her arms. "They had a really terrible accident."
"Oh shit..."
P.J. looked off toward the coffee table. Obvious discomfort in her expression. "But no one really likes to talk about it. The whole town, honestly." Like an eager child in the crowd, I waved my beer toward her. "So what the Hell happened?"
"A few kids died," P.J. stated. "They had a real bad fire and some people got trapped over by the machines and ball pit."
I placed the longneck on the table. My movements clumsy from fear. "Fuck, man..." my shaky, deep voice said. "That's fucking crazy."
"Yeah..." P.J. faced me. "The whole town just decided to shut it down after that. Just leave it in the past."
Intrigued, I moved in closer. "So this is all true? How do you know?"
"I was there."
Immediately, I backed off. A sympathetic move to give her space. "Oh fuck... P.J., I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine." Fighting off the emotions, she went silent. "I got out. But Justin didn't."
"Shit, I'm sorry!" Doing my best to comfort P.J., I wrapped my arm around her. "I'm so sorry, P.J."
Calm, she held me back. "No. It's okay."
No open floodgate of tears flowed from her eyes like I expected. She must've been used to the pain. The fifteen years of agony. "I guess people just... make those legends up about the characters being possessed by all the kids," P.J. said. "You know. Your typical bullshit way to make fun of a tragedy."
I nodded. "No, I get that. That's fucking shitty..."
"Yeah. But in a way, I kinda like it." She flashed me a weak smile. "Whenever I go there, it does feel like Justin's back. Like I can still feel him running around. I can hear him." Supportive, I returned a smile. "For real?"
"Yeah.."
In a playful gesture, P.J. handed me my beer. "Well um, you wanna go tonight?" I grabbed the booze. "What? Really?" She caressed my face. I felt warm adrenaline run through my body. "Yeah," P.J. said. "We'll call it a late Birthday present." So we got up and left. Me in my Eurythmics hoodie, P.J. in her David Bowie one. I got drunker and drunker by the second. Not to mention more and more excited. Like a ship captain about to find his Treasure Island. By one A.M., we arrived at Chuck's. The chilly January wind hurtled against us, but P.J. got the back door open with ease. Then we took the plunge. P.J. and I entered straight darkness. And the place felt even darker once the back door shut behind us. We were in a narrow hallway. A chilly, narrow hallway. I could tell Chuck E. Cheese's had grown colder over the years without any heat or rambunctious crowds. Shivering, I followed P.J. down the hall. Our cell phones are our only light. Our heavy breaths the only sound. We passed a few closed Employees Only doors. Like the gates to El Dorado, I saw an opening entryway straight ahead. An entrance to Chuck E. Cheese's cavern.
"Come on," P.J. said. She snatched my hand in a tight grip and led us to the finish line.
We stepped into the main room. Shining in through the windows, street lights helped illuminate our surroundings. I turned and stole a glance to our right. Tall, towering figures sent chills down my spine. Until my eyes strained to see them in the darkness. Then warm, fuzzy nostalgia soothed my fear. Like an intimate nightclub, I saw Chuck E.'s band standing there on stage. All four of the animatronics looked ready to give the performance of their lives. Even for an audience of none. There was Pasqually on the drums. His mustache was more flamboyant than I ever remembered. Then you had Jasper the brown dog on guitar. His flannel shirt is perfect for a redneck cartoon. Helen played bass. A long, cool hen in a pink dress. And unlike P.J., Helen appeared to be a family-friendly punk. Of course, at the front of the stage was Chuck E. himself. Like a movie star, he stood with great poise. A big smile on his face. The animatronic clad in a gold-trimmed, black tuxedo. A red bow tie, and, of course, his signature red derby hat.
"Wow!" I exclaimed.
Still guiding me, P.J. grinned toward the stage. "Yeah, pretty neat, right?"
"Definitely."
As we got closer to the front counter, I made sure to focus on "the band." To my surprise and maybe disappointment, none of them moved a muscle. Nor did they play SNAP!'s "Rhythm Is A Dancer" or any of their other 90s staples. Instead, the four characters were more stationary than wax figures. Only Chuck E.'s eyes never strayed from me. Those big, bulging bastards followed P.J. and I all the way up to the glass prize cases. My eyes scanned the rest of the place. There was an arcade. Even well after ten years, I still could recall all the games... then again, the fact that they were all glued to the very same spot helped jog my memory. I was glad to see the Ghostbusters game, the pirate ship, and all my other favs. Even without electricity, the arcade was glorious. Everything preserved like antiques. Across the store was the ball pit. Even from here, I could see colorful circles overflowing inside of it. The awful fire must've not been bad enough to bring the contraption down. Even the thin netting looked unscathed by the flames. Right next to the pit was the photo machine. Not a booth, this was just a screen you stood in front of to have your picture taken. Probably the one item in here completely worthless. Not from fire or damage, just from technology. The machine a dinosaur tech gone by way of the smartphone's selfie. The glass prize cases up front were also in great shape. Rows and rows of odd toys and VHS tapes worthless to any rational retailer but invaluable to any child fortunate enough to have a wealth of tickets. Another Chuck E. Cheese animatronic stood behind those front counters. The tall, playful one in his customary purple tee and green shorts. Letting go of my hand, P.J. walked up to the cases.
"It hasn't changed much," I said. Even from inside, I could see layers of chains swirled around the front entrance doors like metal cotton candy. "I'm honestly kinda surprised."
"Yeah," P.J. responded.
Approaching her, I stumbled into the glass case. "Ow!" I said with a drunken laugh.
Chuckling, P.J. faced me. "You alright?"
"Yeah." I looked up and saw the purple-shirt Chuck E. looming right over me. His beaming eyes stared at me with the zeal of a jewelry salesman. Through my drunken haze, I couldn't remember where I'd last seen this Chuck. Wasn't he further behind the cases?
P.J. grabbed my arm. "Yo, look what I found!” Like a proud child, she showed me a handful of 'gold' tokens. The gold now faded into a dark smudge. But the Chuck E. Cheese logo was still clear as day. "Wow!" I smirked. "Where the Hell'd you get these?"
P.J. dumped them in my hand. "They were on the counter." She motioned toward the arcade games. "Maybe give them a shot." Scoffing, I looked back at the glass cases. Like a museum exhibit displaying Native American artifacts, a dozen yo-yos and cheap watches stared back at me. "I might win you a ring..."
Playful, P.J. gave me a light push. "Do it then!"
Armed with the coins, I fiddled around in the archived arcade. None of the games worked, of course. But just to see them in this catatonic state was enlightening enough for my emotions. And much to my delight, cobwebs didn't cover all the slots. The games were clean. As if they'd been catered to by a caretaker. And Hell, the whole place just smelled nice. No storage smell or old people scent. Everything was just so... fresh. P.J. stuck around until her own sentimental urges took over. I didn't stop her when she gravitated over toward the ball pit. She deserved her own nostalgic fix. All along, I was saving the best game for last. Just like I did when I was a kid: the pirate ship. I stopped right in front of the classic. The small wheel awaited my eager touch. Before I could turn it like a deranged captain, loud thuds distracted me. I looked on across the store to see P.J. stumbling around in the pit. Plastic balls swallowed up her feet and ankles.
Behind a goofy grin, she gave me a wave. "Hey!"
"It looks like you're having fun!" I yelled.
Cheesy arcade music erupted before me. A booming nautical jam. Stunned, I confronted the pirate game. And there on screen was the main menu. A first-person perspective of an animated ocean. All to the tune of that awful sea theme...
"What the fuck..." I muttered. My uneasy eyes surveyed the arcade. All of the other games were still off. A void of black screens. I looked over at the stage. The band was still there. Still deathly quiet. None of them had moved an inch... even though Chuck E.'s eyes were focused on me with a nightwatchman's stare. The pirate game music somehow got louder. A conglomeration of flutes and fiddles tormented my ears. Growing more and more uneasy by the second, I glanced toward the ball pit. But no one was there. Not even P.J.... either she'd left me behind or the pit had swallowed her whole. In a crescendo, a beeping rang over the nautical song. A mechanical crunch erupted. Like a dangling tongue, a long row of tickets shootout the ship game's slot. The sea music veered toward victory horns. I'd won the game without even trying... I stared down at the "reward." No way in Hell I was taking it. I may as well have been shaking hands with the Devil. Heavy footsteps echoed toward me. Whirling around, I scanned the arcade. Just the village of blank screens greeted me. Not a soul in sight. Even the footsteps had stopped.
"P.J.?" my trembling voice said. No reply. Not a voice or whisper.
"P.J., is that you?" I asked.
My gaze shifted toward the glass cases. All the overpriced prizes were still there. But playful Chuck E. wasn't… "Okay, not cool, P.J.!" I said, forcing my voice to sound calm and collected. The polar opposite of the immense fear I felt… I stole one final glance back at those tickets. They were crisper than a fresh ten-dollar bill. Ignoring my inner child's pleading voice, I refused the "reward."
Panicking, I sped walked back toward the ball pit. My frantic footsteps echoed through the store.
"P.J.!" I cried.
There was still no movement inside the pit. Not a sign of life anywhere in that colorful cage. Putting my tokens in my jacket pocket, I glanced at the stage. The animatronic band was forever ready to play. Only now they seemed different. Chuck E. and Helen had their heads tilted to the side. And Chuck E.'s eyes were still on me as if he were singling me out from the crowd. Creeped out, I walked faster. I was too young and stupid then to run... all because I didn't wanna look like a total chickenshit in front of P.J. Even if I felt like one. "I'm ready to go, man!" I yelled. Just a few feet away from the pit, the photo machine cut on. It didn't even have to warm up. In a split second, the screen went from black to colorful. An elevator music rendition of Smash Mouth's "All Star" started playing. I came to a frightened stop. As the music played, the screen flashed old photos to tempt me toward it. Pictures of parents and children in all their 90s glory.
I looked toward the pit. "P.J.!"
There was nothing. I mean not a sound, not a voice. Not even a ripple amongst the sea of bright plastic balls. Pulling my hoodie in tighter, I faced the picture machine. The screen now froze on a large photo. A picture of me. Seven-year-old Kyle Pleasance. Like a flashing neon sign, the photo drew me in. I staggered up to the machine, horrified yet fascinated.
"What the fuck..." I said. "How..."
I traced a finger over the image. Right over my beaming smile. I wore gym shorts and an old Braves tee-shirt then. My grinning parents stood right beside me. All of us are so happy and young. The real best years of my life... I couldn't cry in the cold. Much less with all the terrified adrenaline pumping through my veins. But the emotions still had me choking up. In that brief moment, I was back in 2001. Back with my parents. Back in the glowing arcade. Back chasing those cheap, shitty prizes. Long before I became so isolated and jaded... Fighting back the tears, I lowered my hand. But my gaze stayed on the photo. One I really hoped mom had after all these years. Even with Smash Mouth on, I was getting sentimental... Another picture floated across the screen and landed before my eyes. There was the picture P.J. had shown me. The one of her and Justin going wild in this very Chuck E. Cheese's many years ago. The two overjoyed siblings smiled right at me. Nerves exploited my heightened emotions. A lingering fear still boiled up inside me. When I turned to look toward the pit, a flash erupted. The machine's big, bright camera blinded me. Cringing, I shielded my eyes. "Shit!" I yelled. I blinked a few times to recover. And then I looked on at the machine's freshest picture. Horror conquered me. And just like that, my nostalgic thrill was gone. The screen showed twenty-two-year-old Kyle Presence standing there. And right behind me was the playful Chuck E. He stood tall, his glowering eyes staring down upon me. The animatronic displayed an eerie grin. Chuck E. had just performed a self-aware and all too creepy photobomb. Terrified, I whirled around. But the Chuckster was gone. Music far louder than the game or photo machine blared toward me. Spice Girls's "Wannabe" blasted through whatever speakers this place still had. And to my ever-growing fear, I realized they were coming from the stage speakers. My eyes confronted the "performance." Tux Chuck and his band moved to the beat in disjointed, awkward fashion. Like a robot rock show. I glanced at the ball pit. "P.J.!" I screamed in a final desperate attempt to get my friend. "Come on!" silence greeted once more until finally the plastic balls began to rapidly ripple as a faint screaming became louder and louder. P.J. emerged out from the plastic pile screaming bloody murder, arms flailing “KYLE! HELP ME!” she frantically cried out as she grasped onto the side of the ball pit with all her might, resisting whatever the hell was trying to pull her back down below. Her face was covered in tears and streaks of blood. Tears filled my eyes as I darted over to her, grabbing onto her arms, pulling them with all my might, finally yanking her out. As I fell onto my back, P.J. followed, plopping on top of me. P.J’s quiet fearful sobs greeted my ears “We gotta get the fuck out of here..” I said in a quivering tone, groggily getting back up onto my feet. “come on P.J.!” I shouted, grabbing hold of her arm, softly pulling it. She responded in a quiet whimper “I.. I can’t!.. My ankle.. It’s broken..”
"shit..” I muttered. Not thinking twice I quickly picked her up, carrying her in my arms. I glanced over to the stage catching a frightening glimpse of the Chuckster's pantomime performance. All four of the band members had focused their intense gazes on us. Under the strobe lights, I could see Helen step toward the edge of the stage "Fuck.." I bolted for the hallway still clutching onto P.J. breathing heavily as I got closer and closer to the exit. The arcade was going crazy. The mechanical crunches echoed from all the machines. Those flowing tongues of tickets. Poured out of each and every game in a steady rhythm. Using my phone, I illuminated the dark hallway the best I could. Behind me, I could hear loud footsteps following me. An army of heavy feet… Like the animatronic monsters, the 90s cheese chased me. Sugar Ray's "Fly" now shattered through the speakers. Disoriented, I reached the back door. But before I could force my way out into the cold night I heard a child-like voice cry my name out “Kyle!” I turned around to be greeted with several kids standing a few feet away from us. Justin amongst them. All of them seemed to be under the age of ten. And all of their faces were blank and expressionless...
"It's okay, Kyle," Justin said as he took a step forward as a sly smile crossed his lips. "We mean no harm, we just want to fly..” the children that stood behind him were now smiling. Justin's the wildest and most mischievous of the lot.
"This is where you belong, Kyle" Justin along with the other children slowly walked closer, my fear consuming me as I struggled to pull away. “With us" Their walking came to a sudden stop. Too scared to even muster a word, I looked down the hallway. Standing near the children were all five animatronics. Purple-shirt Chuck E. the leader of the pack. They all had wide smiles that rivaled Justin's. And they weren't moving or breathing... The five characters were back to being playful statues. P.J. was still quietly sobbing into my chest, completely oblivious to what was happening. "Fly" swirled around the children like a personal soundtrack. Like this was all a warped advertisement for life at Chuck E. Cheese's… "Come with us, Kyle," Justin beckoned me.
"No!" I shouted. The children began chuckling. Even Their taunting laughter formed a sick chorus. My efforts to break away from my frozen state were again proved futile. P.J. lifted her face from my chest looking up to me “K-Kyle, are we out?” she said in a quiet whimper, i didn't respond, i was too afraid of what would happen if i looked away from them, even for a second.
“Kyle..?”. She looked over to where I was facing and gasped fearfully as I felt her fingers dig into my back. “J..Justin?..” she tearfully muttered out.
“Hey big sis, we missed you..” Justin said in a monotone.
“Oh my god!! y..you’re still alive!! I knew it!” P.J. responded tearfully. I felt her tight grip on my back swiftly loosen. As I felt it, I snapped out of my frozen gaze and quickly snatched her back into my grasp.
“No! P.J. That isn’t him!! They’re fucking you!!” I persisted. She refused “No! you're lying!! That is him!" She tried to escape my grasp once more as I desperately pleaded. “It isn’t! Please P.J.! Trust me!!” P.J. bribed once again “No! that is him!”
“Goddammit P.J.!” I shouted.
Justin walked even closer to us, “It’s okay Kyle, there’s nothing to be scared of, all we wanna do is fly..” Justin sadistically giggled. He was now an inch away from us, he grabbed P.J’s hand, slowly began tugging “Come with us..” upon feeling Justin’s tug, P.J. halted her struggling and looked over to him, reeling in horror at his sight. Justin was recognizable from a far but up close. He was a mangled mess. My stomach sank upon seeing his nightmare of a face. “Ju..Justin?” she muttered, beginning to resist Justin's tug.
“What’s the matter sis?”
"Y..Your face.."
"what about it?"
P.J’s fear returned. “Wh..What the f..fuck.." she said in a quit whimper.
Justin tugged harder and started digging his dirty fingernails deep into her skin, piercing through it "aren't i pretty?.." he tauntingly responded before giggling sadistically. P.J. screamed in agony as her arm started gushing with blood. My grip on P.J. tightened, I pulled her away from Justin's unreasonably strong grasp with all my might, eventually releasing her. As I did so the tokens in my coat pockets flew out in a coin explosion, a few ended up stuck in my palm. Justin reached out towards me and P.J. with a devious smile. "Stay..” I gripped a few tokens and swiped them at his outstretched hand while I shouted "Get away from us!" And like a blade, the tokens sliced through his flesh as a long strand of skin fell to the floor. Horrified, I watched him raise his hand with pride. with that still devious smile, he showed off his hand's exposed "flesh." were dark metal and Wires. He was a fucking machine… The other children's manic laughter grew even louder. The hallway became a literal echo chamber of terror and madness... I noticed the Chuck E. Cheese animatronics were all so silent and still. Their bulging eyes just focused on us. As if they were guards for the horror lurking down the hallway. Justin's movements were full of twitches and quirks as he took another step toward us. A twisted soul fusion of his animatronic wiring and human flesh. "we just want to fly,” Justin sang along with the cheese. His voice got deeper and more hollow than ever… Shivering, I stared into his unblinking eyes, as he kept getting closer. The hallway became our stage. The laughing children soundtrack. The silent animatronics our audience. "Put your arms around me, baby," Justin kept singing. "Put your arms around me, baby..." finally snapping out of my frozen trance, I turned around and kicked the back door open. Running out into the January wind. Outside, I stole a look back. Through the glass door, I could see Justin watching us. The children all around him like he was their cherished father. Together, they smiled as if posing for one of those Chuck E. Cheese pictures. I ran away carrying P.J. later slowing down out of exhaustion. I took another look back to see if they followed us and thankfully they didn't. I looked back over to P.J. to see her covering her still bleeding wound with her other hand, while cringing. My eyes widened “Oh shi..” I mumbled under my breath. I squatted down and seated P.J. onto the sidewalk curb as Took her hoodie off and tightly wrapped it around her gushing wound. Letting out a sigh, I took a seat beside her, I ran my fingers through my hair as I looked down at the pavement. Both of us sat there in complete silence, still contemplating what the fuck just happened... After a few more moments passed, I broke the silence. “So, It really was haunted after all” I let out a small chuckle “Jesus fuck..” I heard a quietly shaky laugh come from P.J. I looked over to P.J. to see her smiling slightly. “Y..Yeah, that was some crazy shit” she chuckled shortly, before groaning in pain. My eyes widened “Oh shit P.J.! Wha-” I was gonna ask what’s wrong before quickly realizing that her ankle was broken. “I..Is it your ankle?”
“Y..Yeah.. Shit hurts like hell...” She said in an aggravated tone before grabbing her ankle and rubbing it in a rhythm.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through this shit P.J... I’m gonna try to call for an ambulance” P.J. responded with a semi relieved expression. I got up from the curb, pulling my phone out from my pocket to do just that. Before I could successfully ring them though, I was greeted by a notification on my lock screen telling me there was no service in the area. “ughh..”
P.J. looked up from her ankle. “What happened?”
“there's no service here”
P.J. responded with a disappointed expression. “fuck.. The hell are we gonna do now?..” I sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to bring you back to my place and I’ll call them ther-” Before I could finish my sentence, I noticed in my peripheral vision was a convenience store not too far off. “I guess not”
“Huh?”
“I see a convenience store a couple blocks down”
“Oh-kay..? How will a convenience store help with this?” She responded confused. “Well, maybe it has service?” She gave me a skeptical glare “I highly doubt a convenience store out here has service, I mean you can still give a shot but I don’t know...”
“Well, let’s just see,” I said as I picked her up, carrying her in my arms again. We began to make our way over down the dimly lit sidewalk. During the walk, I asked. “So uhm, what did you see down there?..” P.J. Responded confused. “see down where?”
“The ball pit”
P.J. immediately went silent. After a couple seconds I glanced down to her, to see a blank expression on her face, her eyes displayed genuine fear while holding back tears as she began to softly shiver. “Fuck.. I..I’m so sorry for asking that” trying to comfort her as I softly caressed her shoulder. “N..No It’s fine, I Just.. never want to remember that... Thin...” P.J. cut herself and looked up at me with a stern expression. “C..Can you promise me, that you’ll never tell this to anyone and never discuss with me ever again?”
“Oh.. I.. I promise. Hell I don’t blame you, i don’t wanna remember that shit again either...”
“Thanks Kyle..”
“Don't mention it. Well we made it, oh great there's a bench next to the entrance. Now I don't have to carry you inside” I chuckled. P.J. snickered In response. I seated her down onto the bench. Then pulled my phone out to see if the place had service and thankfully it did. “Hoh thank god” P.J. glanced up to me before i looked at her, then showed the data stat on my phone like a determined child “See i knew it was gonna have service!”
P.J.’s eyes widened in surprise “Oh shit, nice!”
“Yeah! Well since we're here, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to grab a couple snacks and things, huh?”
“Mm, hopefully you brought your wallet” P.J. jokingly responded. “Oh shit that’s right” I checked both my hoodie and jeans pockets. Nothing. “Damn..”
“Don’t got it?” “nope”
“Mm,”
“Eh it’s fine, getting an ambulance over here is far more important right now” taking a seat beside her, I looked back over to my phone, then dialed and successfully rang 911. As we waited for them to arrive, I looked up at the night sky “It's so pretty tonight” P.J. said, smiling warmly.
“It is”
“Wanna see if you can make something out?” P.J. quipped. I Scoffed. “Oh no, I suck at piecing together stuff. Heh, this takes me back to when I was little, my dad would always take me out camping for the weekend. Every night we’d sit outside and try to make out objects or animals in the stars and I’d always get them wrong” I chuckled “good times”
“Mm, that’s nice”
“It was”
“...You know. There’s something i wanna tell you”
“What’s that?” I curiously glanced over to her. “I know that i said i was mostly gay but, that was a lie. I-I really do like you. I.. just didn’t feel ready to pursue a full on relationship then, but now after the time I've spent with you and after you've literally saved my life, I.. I Think i’m ready now..” I felt an immediate warm rush of adrenaline, my heart began thumping in excitement, I shakily responded “R..Really?”
“Yeah. Are you though?” She said unsurely, looking over to me. “I-I think so” A smirk grew on her face. "Nice” she warmly responded before scooting close to me, softly grappling me into a side hug. A warm smile grew on my face as I Jokingly asked. “Soo, does this mean we’re gonna go on that date?” P.J. laughed. “Sure, why not?” I chuckled in response before sighing happily. I placed my hand on her hair as we shared silence, continuing to get lost in the night sky...
submitted by -figger_naggot- to creepypasta [link] [comments]


2020.05.01 03:02 alsomeguy 29 [M4F] from South Carolina looking for real and full true connection

i got some self confidence today and for some damn reason i can't be allowed to be happy and might still be permanently banned from reddit
SIGH
get over your gate keeping white knighting selves and let me me in. i have as much right to be here as anyone else
I am totally loathe to try and date people my own age. mostly because most of them are too busy buying drugs and booze, and party so on. (most not all but most).
i want more than that. i want a real and full honest and open relationship. and yes by open i mean emotionally vulnerable and willing to talk. i am not non monogamous and hate with a passion that that is what that word means now.
i'm looking for someone that will love me for me for who i am and not my money, because surprise like most people my age i don't have any.
i am a well rounded, fairly intelligent, nice to a point guy. (don't you hate that we live in a world where calling yourself a nice guy is a bad thing, i do)
things i will explain before you ask:
if i say im intelligent most people ask, "what college did you go to?" as if going to some fancy collage actually means you learn shit there.
let me say that no, i did not go to college. those of you who did go saw plenty of people where there just to party and so on. so you know first hand that not everyone who went to collage is educated.
i think it's about time we stop this misnomer that education equals intelligence mostly because it doesn't.
I'm intelligent as in knowing much trivia, knowing the definitions and use of many words, and being able to analyse statistically any set of given data in many ways, for fun. i'm not an astrophysicist, or a doctor, but i am smarter than some people.
(and by that i mean the people who are 21 years old and think milk comes from a cows dick that kind of not smart)
well rounded, i have no idea where people got the modern definition of this word but, when i say it i mean i have gone thru alot of life.
i've been a step parent, i've taken care of a family. i've been, a cook, a housekeeper, a diaper changer i've spent all night and all day awake because some how kids can do that. i taught kids to talk. i've taught kids to walk.
i've been a redneck factory worker. iv been (insert word i can say here). iv flipped burgers. i've been rejected because im white. i've been rejected because im male. i've been rejected because i don't have a wife and kids. and yes this is all pertaining to jobs.
i wight in my spare time, which is a lot now because i can't get a job while the state is locked down. some of it got popular, but i'm not allowed to talk about sex in this world. (take that all you elitist snob grammar nazis)
that's what i call well rounded if that's not what it means anymore then i don't care.
i say im a nice enough guy as they say in customer service. "the customer is not always right and sometimes deserve to get dey ass beat." by that i mean everything has its limit.
i understand that you got held up at work and can't make our date. after about 2 or 3 times tho im going to start thinking you're making excuses and i don't like that. i will put in as much effort as you do, because im tired of being the one who calls and texts and checks his phone all the time for someone who's not there. there's a limit.
i can understand you lashing out after a hard day. there is only so much one person can take. if your with someone you need to be able to decompress and express yourself around them, but if i wanted someone to bite scratch and hiss at me i would get a cat. there's a limit.
i love jokes i like to laugh even if my lungs spasming can cause a coughing attack that might just kill me. every couple can trade barbs and be light hearted and fun. it's perfectly fair to call me a dumbass after the fourth time you helped me find my glasses, and they were in fact right where i left them.
how ever it is not fair to call me a dumbass for things i don't know. like how to pronounce words i've never seen before. there's a limit.
i feel this is all fair.
negative things about me.
i have a bad past im not quite over yet, i would say i need someone to help me make new memories to overwrite the old.
i'm needy and clingy and i don't really see a problem with that, but as iv said i know everything has a limit so if you need space you should tell me.
i have a few mental and physical health problems they aren't all that bad and are mostly under control. but i do have a few problems here and there.
i'm kinda wild, i spent most of my time inside studying, no it did not help. i want to have passion adventures. i want to introduce you to worlds you've never seen or heard of before.
i know, this is scary, this might be dangerous. as they say "life's no fun without a good scare" "what is the point of being alive if you don't actually live"
this leads to the sex issue. yes i like sex, there's nothing wrong with that. you would think so from all the things you see, but no its not bad. i know it's not everything in a relationship, but for me it's important.
what am i looking for? like i said i want someone who is looking for real full love. i'm not rich so don't come for that. i'm not a damsel rescuing knight so don't come for that. i'm not a punching bag so don't come for that.
i have my ideals shure. i wish for things like everyone else, but i know finding that is nearly impossible. i know life is about taking the good with the bad. things don't happen overnight ect.
im not going to pretend i can't be shallow or i'm not an immense pervert.
what i want is to find someone that is ok with that.
submitted by alsomeguy to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


Opinion - The Telegraph